Tag Archive | Life

Creating A Balanced Life…And Keeping It!!


Here are just some of the things that I know work.

  1.  Unplug Yourself…Turn off the electronics as often as you can, especially on the weekend.  I hear the reasons why you must stay plugged in already, but give it a chance, at least for one day or even a few hours each night.  Put the phone down and turn off the computer. Give your work brain a rest.  Here’s the side-effect: You will have time to actually connect with your family and friends!

2.  Cut It Off…It’s a given that if your life is overflowing you will not be able to create balance and manage it all.  It’s just not possible.  Say NO to to the things/people that are either not essential or don’t add something valuable to your life.  Get hardcore with yourselves.
3.  Pay Attention To How You Feel Physically…I know and you know what we need to do, but until we are half dead we do nothing.  Our health really does affect the quality of our lives and our work.  We are far more happy and able to do more when we get enough sleep, eat a little healthy and fit in some type of physical activity.
4.  Lessen Your Toxin Intake…By that I don’t mean chemicals (though that might help as well.) Lessen the negative influences around you.  Avoid those toxic people (complainers, negative folks, gossipy, whiners, poor attitude carriers.) If you can’t completely avoid them, at least lessen the contact with them.  Surround yourself with positive, supportive, can-do people whenever possible
5.  Spend Time By Yourself…Making time for you is probably the hardest thing to do for the typical overwhelmed person, but it is crucial for lowering stress, increasing happiness and encouraging creativity.  Here are some things you can do with yourself;  meditate, write, sketch, do some yoga or simply sit quietly for a few minutes each day and do absolutely nothing.  Remember to BREATHE!!  You can do this!
6.  Relationships Count…Make sure you are spending quality time with your family and friends.  Don’t just sit in front of your television eating popcorn!  I encourage you to really connect and pay attention to those you care about.  Have a date night with your significant other, have coffee with a friend, play a game with a child.  Really get to know the people around you and who happen to love you…unbalanced and all.
7.  Practice Self/Care Self/Love…Go get yourself a pedicure or a facial.  If it costs too much go to the schools that teach it and you will have even greater service and very little cost.  Better yet, schedule a massage (there are massage schools as well).  It doesn’t need to be anything that costs a small fortune.  Have a cup of your favorite coffee or tea, light your best a scented candle or get a small bouquet of amazing flowers for yourselves.  It will make a huge difference in your life.
8.  Use Your Mind…Take a class, learn to paint or try something new that you’ve always wanted to learn to do.  Maybe you could read a book that sparks your interest or give listening to uplifting music a go.  Find what interests you.
Lastly…remember fun?  Laugh, joke, play, color, find your sense of humor, subscribe to a daily joke or get a tear-off calendar with funny things on it.  Live out loud my friends.  Life is too short.

Much Love,

Sarah-Pink 2016

Lesson #41 ¿ Expectations ? Avoiding Anger & Resentments


This subject has probably been written about more times than I can count…but, sometimes we may need a little reminder so we don’t end up feeling stuck or miserable.

Years and years ago, I realized that the only person I could honestly expect anything from was myself.  When I was expecting others to do what they said they would do, or when I expected that everyone would be honest, or treat others with kindness…I was always setting myself up for a huge disappointment…then I would be angry.  I was usually more angry with myself for thinking people would do the next right thing, but any way you look at it, resentment soon followed.  No one can function well when they a carrying around all that ugly baggage.  You just end up stuck in your head, blaming, playing old tapes over and over again filled with faulty thinking, and before you know it, the circle starts again.  So, I let go and let God.  I mean to tell you, I quit trying to figure out the “why” of it all.  Knowing “why” people didn’t follow through, or “why” they weren’t honest, or kind, or whatever the case might be, was futile.  It took me a few times to let God keep it all…I really thought I could help God out…  🙂  but, I gave it all to Him and walked away.  It’s not that I don’t care anymore, I do care, but the only person I can change is myself…and the only situation I might be able to help improve is the one I am working on at any given time.

When I work with my clients, through Life Coaching, expectations come up quite a bit.  I understand their pain and sadness and I truly understand their disappointment and anger with others.  I am finding that when we work together and really take situations apart and look at them for what they are, the best way for them to find peace, less baggage, and answers is by giving it to God and walking away.  Like me, they know what they can follow through on.  They know it is easier to be honest than to lie and kindness lifts their spirits so very much.  Depending on ourselves, expecting that we will do our best…even if we fall short once in awhile, is a whole lot better than expecting things from others that they are incapable of giving.

Trust God, trust yourself and things will begin to run more smoothly.

Sarah-Pink Welch ©2012

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The Cancer!


Here is my body’s cancer journey…….

In 1963 I was 8 years old.  It was Christmas Eve morning and my mother was giving me a bath.  She felt 3 small lumps, where my left breast would develop later.  I was born a sickly child, so she quickly called our family doctor and told him I needed to be seen right then and there.  This was 1963, so doctors were a lot different than most are now.  He told my mother to meet him at his office in a few minutes.  We arrived, doc checked me out, looked at my mother and said, “Jane, these are just breast buds and there’s nothing to worry about.”  We went home and had a nice Christmas holiday.

I need to digress a bit so that you will get a clearer picture of things.  My paternal grandma was a Messianic Jew who lived in Germany with her sisters, brothers and parents.  For those of you who may not know what a Messianic Jew is, it simply means that my Grandma and her entire family were Jewish but believed strongly in Jesus.  Hitler was doing what Hitler did at the time, and eventually his group rounded up my Grandma’s entire family and they ended up as prisoners in Auschwitz…a concentration camp in Poland.  My grandma’s parents and her brothers were killed almost immediately, which left my Grandma and her two sisters..my Great Aunts’ Louise and Clara.  While being held there, they endured horrid things, the worst being experiments by Dr. Josef Mengele also known as “The Angel of Death.”  Eventually, the found freedom and ended up on Ellis Island.

As I was growing up I can’t remember a year that passed when someone on my grandma’s side of the family died of cancer.  Every single year it was a cousin, an child of a cousin, eventually my grandma, my dad’s sister, my great aunts….gone.  All from some weird, never seen before cancer.  Today, April 13th, 2012, the only people left are my brother, his daughter, myself, my three sons, and their children.  My eldest son, develops tumors often and thank God, once they are removed I breathe easier….until another shows up.

In 1984, I was working and I began to feel unusually tired, and I was thin to begin with but I began loosing weight and did not have much of an appetite.  I went to the doctor….the same one I had when I was 8, and he sent me to the hospital for a mammogram.  Well, they found multiple masses in both breasts.  I was 29…and I’m thinking..are they crazy or what.  On May 3rd, 1984 I received my diagnosis of Stage 4 breast cancer.  I had 3 sons, and my husband heard cancer, packed his things and left.  From May through mid October I went through radiation and chemo.  And 21 years and 1 day to the date of “having breast buds”, I had no boobettes at all.

All should have been much better right?  Wrong.  I recovered from the surgery, went through more treatment, and got a divorce and was still feeling not so wonderful.  There is a big difference between chemo sick and something’s not right in Denmark sick.  So, my husband had taken me off his insurance when he left…and I wasn’t aware of that.  I ended up being placed in a clinical trial because I had a rare form of cancer seen only in people who had any association with the good old Angel of Death!  Thank you God that my husband cancelled my insurance.  Had he not, I would not be here now.

I have made my final arrangements at least 16 times, tied up my loose ends often, had the hard talk with my boys, then with their wives, then with my grandchildren.  My cancer is insane.  Nothing is there one minute and the next week I have a new mass.  So far I have had the double radical mastectomy, part of my colon removed, my left kidney removed, it has invaded my throat, my ears, my lower jaw had to be removed and replaced, I have had tumors attached to the inside of my skull, 2 knee replacements, and currently I have a tumor in my heart.  It is shrinking, but I sure wish it would just vanish because this chemo has never been used on a human before.  I am the experimental rat your parents warned you about.  :o) I have to make it funny or I would go to my bed and just let go.  But, I love life.  Life is so amazingly beautiful to me it takes my breath away.  This cancer, as ugly as it is, has taught me how to live out loud, it has taught me kindness, compassion, the power of prayer and so much more.  I know what is really important and special in life and I am blessed.

When I had my first surgery, December 26th, 1984 I required blood transfusions.  In 1984 there was no way to screen blood for HIV.  A decade plus later I receive a letter from the blood bank stating that one of my blood donors had died due to complications of AIDS and they urged me to see my doctor immediately.  Well….yes I was HIV+ and now I am full blown AIDS.  I am making it.  I keep smiling even if I am faking it.  I lost my hair so many times I actually love being bald…but when I have hair it is PINK.  I have one pair of regular blue jeans that were my daddies, but if you open my closet you will feel like you just walked right into a bottle of Pepto Bismol.  I still have the old yellow star that my grandma was made to wear so that everyone new she was Jewish.  I take it with me to treatment.  I have never asked God, “why me.”  Why not me?  Better me than someone else, and because of all the experimental drugs all these years, people are using them and getting well.  So I don’t mind at all.

This is the story of my body’s cancer.  I am 57 now and I have no intention of leaving for awhile.  I will plant my pink flowers in the yard, drive my little Volkswagen Beetle when I can, and I am going to keep on smiling.

Sarah-Pink Welch ©2012

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UPDATE:  As of February 5th, 2013 I was removed from chemotherapy and put into a new study….all though the cancer is still here, it is quiet and I am participating in a French/Canadian study that is showing great promise.

UPDATE:  A full year has almost come and gone.  I still have the cancer but it seems to be taking a nap.  I am doing as well as I can and I feel wonderful.

Lesson #34 Addicted To Your Story March 27th 2012


My friend, who knows me as well as I know myself suggested I “get honest” and by writing this I am being truly honest.  You may not like it, you may be afraid, you may have an “AHA” moment.  Whatever happens, this is my truth to you.

I have been a Life Coach for more than 2 decades.  I have worked with many types of people….I am an equal opportunity Life Coach.  This is what I know for certain.  All people have a “story”.  Everyone!  The bad thing about that is you become ADDICTED to your story.  It is like everything else….if you keep repeating that story over and over again you become that which you are telling.  I am a recovering addict/alcoholic, and I have told my story so many times I lost count.  I do know that I had to stop telling it and for 99% of the time I have stopped.  The addict me, the alcoholic me, the adult child of an alcoholic me, the sexually abused me, the physically abused me is dead, the cancer patient me is dead, the full blown AIDS me is dead.  She is dead, she is gone, she is buried.

I was addicted to the groups I attended every single day became a new addiction for me.  Thinking of NOT going to a meeting caused me major anxiety attacks.  God intervened and I do not attend meetings everyday.  What I was doing was switching addictions.  Everyone I have ever met has an addiction.  Food, being perfect, sex, sitting at their computers doing anything but work, spending, accumulating stuff, eating, not eating, exercise, alcohol, over working, drugs, anger…the list of addictions is endless.

At the core of our being is some kind of PAIN…….which stands for Pay Attention Inward Now.  When we have become sick and tired enough or being sick and tired, we can reach inside and Feel that pain, Deal with that pain, and then Heal that pain.  I make it sound so easy and I know it is not.  But….you can stop to dragging it around like a security blanket.  Our pain can be from being abused, lied to, being told lies about ourselves, feeling alone and unloved,  feeling unworthy and less than.  All LIES!!!!!!  But, we keep sharing our story with anyone who will listen or read it….because that is all the identity we have.

I want you to know that you are able and allowed to heal.  I want you to know that you are worthy.  I want you to know that are loved.  I want you to know that you are not alone.  I want you to know that God does not make junk and the Big Bang Theory just doesn’t hold up.  I want you to know that as long as you keep hanging onto your story that is exactly what you will have in your present life.  Chaos, drama, fear, uncertainty, illness…they have become your companions.  Without them, you panic and have no clue who or what you are.

You are stuck in the muck of it all.  So, you decide.  Who are you now, minus your entire story?  What is your vision?  What do you really want your life to look like?

God will and can help you.  Stop living your old story….it is really not who you can be.  It is ugly, infectious, and it is not the present.  Holding onto it also acts like a dust catcher, so all the yuck in the world will keep sticking to your life, your very being.  Is that what you really want?  Yes, it is scary to think about all of this.  Without your story….who are you?  Without your story….who will you have to validate you?

I am asking you, encouraging you to take a leap of faith and Pay Attention Inward Now, then Feel it, Deal with it, and Heal it.  Lose the story.  Create your vision.  Learn to love living in peace.  It’s okay.  Just because happiness and peace may be something that you have never known consistently or had mere glimpses of, you have nothing to lose.  Your story will always be there if you have to live in the muck of it all.

I am here if you need me to help you co-author your New Life Story.  I am here to walk that journey with you.  You deserve better and when you know better, you do better.

Now you know the truth.  Are you willing to let go?

Sarah© 2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

Lesson #33 ***Walking In Gratitude***


Since I have gotten back into connecting more with people than in the last few years, I have been getting these questions….”What in the world are you so grateful for?”  “Why are you so happy?”  Maybe I don’t think about the questions much, because 99% of the time they are asking because I deal with health issues and a pretty odd family.

For as long as I can remember, I have walked in gratitude.  I really don’t know any other way to be.  I have other choices of course….I could stay in bed, I could be angry, I could be so sad I never laugh, I could even end it all.  I don’t even think anyone would be angry about that.  Life has not been a bed of roses, but I love meandering my way through the thorns without getting pricked, and I pick tons of pink roses along the journey.

I have never asked, “why me,” in fact I say “why not me?”  I am just like any other human; differing in the way I think, look, the way I live, the stuff that makes us all different.  I am a human with health issues.  So what.  I don’t know how to give in or quit fighting for my life.  I have a family that is so dysfunctional, I don’t talk with them.  So what.  I have created my own family made of people that I have been blessed to meet and love.  I am human and have my times of sorrow, when I think of those I miss so much.  There is nothing more I choose to do about that.  Things are what they are and being sad is not fun and not going to change anything, so I do what I need to do to get out of the sadness.  Anyone can do that…it isn’t magic.  It’s changing the way you think and your life will follow.  Happy thoughts–happy life.  Not perfect, but happy.

I walk in gratitude.  I live in gratitude. I breathe in gratitude.  I am content in gratitude.  There are so many events, people, and things I am grateful for, I couldn’t possibly list them all.

I am grateful I live in peace.  I am grateful for the people in my life.  I am grateful for each day I am alive.  I live inside a house…not outside.  There is food to eat if I choose to eat.  There is music to listen to and music to create.  There are books to read and learn from.  I have love in my life.  I like who and what I am.  I have friends I love.  My husband is my best friend.

My body may not cooperate all the time, but I am still standing.  I am grateful to keep moving forward.

I pay attention to other people; I listen and watch them.  They “seem” to have it all.  “Seem” is the operative word here.  They have the cars, the big houses, the money, the “stuff.”  But, if I could change places with them, I wouldn’t.  Often, I see them looking miserable…they really don’t have it all.  They are lacking gratitude, contentment, authentic joy…..they have to keep accumulating their stuff and don’t include gratitude in any of it.  This doesn’t apply to all people, but the majority of those that “have” just have to keep “having.”

My body and my “blood” family may be on the dysfunction junction end of things, but at least I know who I am, what I am capable of creating, how to rest in gratitude and smile when it rains.  And I will continue to move forward with my spirit overflowing with happiness, joy, and gratitude!

Sarah©2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

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Lesson #30 We Must Do Something!


Yesterday as I was listening to the radio they announced that singer Whitney Houston had died.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know how.  Sitting here, I know her death will be drug related.  Please know that when I use the words “drug” or “substance” that I am including alcohol.  After all….alcohol is a drug.

Last week, I watched a 10 year old, homeless, heroin addict’s casket be lowered into the ground.  All senseless and sad.  How much more is America and the world for that matter going to be okay with this insanity?  People have died, people are dying.  Mothers and fathers don’t sleep because their child is out there somewhere, doing whatever it takes to get what they need to feel nothing again.  Partners are calling friends and family in search of their partner, who is out there somewhere, doing everything they can do to get what they need because they are so stressed out that being high is the only way they can cope with things.

Men and women are spending every cent they can get their hands on, feeding slot machines, lottery tickets, or card games in hope of hitting it big.  Sometimes they do hit it big, but they can’t walk away and before you know it, they are broke.  There is no food in their homes, the bills haven’t been paid, their children need to see the doctor, but the money is now in the pockets of some greedy idiot who could care less.

How many more lives, families, cities have to die before someone steps up and says NO MORE?  One life lost, one family broken up is enough for me.

Even cigarettes.  We all know that they are highly addictive.  The surgeon general of the U.S. puts nice warnings on the sides of each pack.  So they know already that is something that will destroy your health and eventually will have something to do with your death.  But, like alcohol…you can get your hands on them.

I am allowing myself a little time to be sad, to be angry, to be tired of it.  But, I am scrambling through my brain to come up with something that will end all the craziness.  Why is it that a 10 year old or myself know where to find the dealers and the powers that be don’t?  See, I consider drug dealers to be serial killers.  They are right up there with pedophiles, rapists, and physical/emotional abusers. I am not sorry to say that if I had my way, I would find them all leave them at Alcatraz, and I would fill the surrounding waters with Piranha’s…and once a week I would have a helicopter drop food there.  No bars, no guards, no visitors, no anything.

Why, why, why?  It just keeps getting worse and I know there are good folks doing what they can to help those of us who are addicted to get and stay well.  The odds however and not in their favor.  Let’s say someone has an addiction and do need what can be found in rehab centers.  Well, once you find a good rehab, it’s all about the insurance and money it takes to be there.  Most people have the wrong insurance or no insurance or no money.  That too is insanity.  If the government allows this stuff….the drugs, the gambling, the cigarettes to exist, then shouldn’t they be responsible for the aftermath that follows?  Shouldn’t it cost nothing to get well again?

Did you know, that currently 9 million Americans struggle with prescription medicine addiction?  Doctors just hand it out like candy. 50% of all car accidents are alcohol related.  Overall, about one third of the population has a drug addiction problem of one kind or another, whether legal or illegal.  And, we allow it…maybe not because we don’t care, but because our hands are tied.

I think, if every American, could start turning in the names of any dealers they have heard of, the police would have to start making arrests.  If you are not alcoholic….stop buying alcohol.   Drink tea instead.  Write the judges, write the senators, the congressmen, the governors, your city mayor and council people.  Don’t stop writing them.  Enough is enough.

Or maybe,we can just sit back and ignore it.  I mean if it hasn’t affected you why care?  I know something you don’t.  Eventually, it affects everyone.

Take a stand and do something.

Sarah© 2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

If You Really Knew Me…….


You would know I am more than pink hair, tattoos, piercings and the like.  If you really knew me you would not assume anything based on my appearance.  If you really knew me, you would know that I am not brave and strong but I struggle to appear that way.  I am fearful more times than not.  If you really knew me you would know that I am not a “party” creature or fond of groups of people.  I like being alone, but not lonely.  If you really knew me you would know that I miss my dad so very much it hurts; you would know that my mom, my brother and one of my children do not even like me.  This makes me sad, but there is nothing I can do to change that.  If you really knew me you would know that I have less than 5 friends…people who truly know me inside and out.  If you really knew me you would know that life has been difficult for me.  You would know I was molested for several years and blamed myself, I was abused and blamed myself, and I was raped twice and blame myself.  If you really knew me you would know that I grew up hearing….”you aren’t good enough”, “get out of the way”, “why did you live”, “why can’t you be like so and so “, “you ruined my life.”  If you really knew me, you would know that I wear my feelings on the outside and get hurt pretty often.  If you really knew me, you would know that if I love someone, I love them with all that I have and would do anything to help them.  You would know that the word LOVE is important to me and I see it as a verb.  If you really knew me you would know that I have cancer and AIDS but I don’t let them define me.  They are just another stumbling block that I keep flipping over to make a stepping stone going forward.  If you really knew me you would know that I am not impressed by money, cars, clothing, name droppers, fancy anything.  If you really knew me you would know that I envy families that are close knit and care about each other.  That is probably what I have always missed in my life the most.  If you really knew me you would know that the pink hair happened because of the cancer and my need to make a statement about finding a cure.  The tattoos and piercing and my clothing are all meant to keep people at a distance so that they won’t see how shy I really am.  If you really knew me you would know that I have always wanted to make a difference, for the better, in someone’s life.  You would know that if something is wrong, I will speak up and try to fix it or find someone who will.  If you really knew me you would know that I believe drug dealers and child molesters are the same as someone who kills just because they can.  I have no use for them and they are ruining lives every day all around the world.  If you really knew me you would know I love to read, write, listen to music, play in the snow, go fishing and camping, make things, bake, sew, dream, and take naps.  If you really knew me you would know that my husband is a truly wonderful man and I wish I had met him a long time ago.  If you really knew me  you would know that I do matter, I am worthy, I am intelligent, I am somewhat pretty, and I am finally content.  If you really knew me you would know I love words, board games, popcorn, flowers, my dog Pink, my grandchildren I have never met and the grandson I don’t see very often.  If you really knew me you would know I have begun saying to a few people….”you are NOT allowed to be mean to me anymore.”  If you really knew me you would know I lose games on purpose so people won’t know I am smart.  I ask questions I already know the answer to.  You would know that I “dumb down” 95% of the time so people won’t be intimidated by me.  If you really knew me you would know that it takes every ounce of courage I have to speak to groups of “at risk” kids or adults about drugs, alcohol, abuse, and leading a happy life and knowing they matter.  If you really knew me you would know I do that with the hope that it will help just one person.  If you really knew me you would know I go through my day in prayer for others.  I you really knew me you would know that I like things simple, free of chaos and drama, peace filled, hope filled, and joy filled.  If you really knew me you would know I would be very happy living in the country, in a small cozy house with a fireplace, with a huge garden, a few chickens and goats, maybe even a cow.  I would not mind not having a computer, a phone, and all this crazy electronic jazz.  If you really knew me…………

Sarah-Pink Welch © 2012

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