Lesson # 32 When The Other Shoe Drops!

Many people live their lives’ waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I happen to be one of them.  It’s not the best way or the happiest way to live, but it is all I have ever known.  I can be sitting quietly and BAM, I get blindsided by some unhappy occurrence.  I don’t spend time obsessing over things, because in life….stuff just happens.  I just have a small place in the back of my brain that holds a shoe and eventually it drops.  I don’t believe in curses, coincidences, or accidents.  Things happen for a reason.  Sometimes, along my journey I see why, but most of the time I have no idea.

That’s how chronic illness is….or being homeless….or being an addict….or not having a job, and on and on.

Now, I have worked on a solution for this waiting business.  It involves getting out of my head and getting out of the way and reaching out to help someone else.  When I am helping I am not wondering about the shoe.  It fades away into some far away place that all shoes go to.  Maybe doing the same thing would help you.  There’s nothing to lose really.  If reaching out passed yourself doesn’t take away that “waiting” feeling, I doubt much else will.

The other day, as I said before, I was minding my own business and one of my doctors called.  “We found the cancer.”  You see, it had miraculously disappeared.  Every single tumor had vanished.  The only problem was that my blood work showed that I still had cancer.  Well…it was playing hide and seek and I refused to play.  No seeking on my part.  Now it has been found and on Monday February 20th I begin chemotherapy again.  I have had it so often I stopped counting.  Irregardless, the shoe dropped and I didn’t die.  As a matter of fact I feel better now because it has fallen and I’m no longer waiting for anything to fall.

So, if you tend to be like me, take some time and figure out how to switch out the “waiting” to doing instead!

Sarah© 2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

Lesson #31 Acceptance vs. Tolerance

The dictionary defines Acceptance as the following…“Favorable reception; approval”  I think most people have a instinctive need to be accepted.  We want to fit in, we want to be liked.  But, when we have to change who we are…our truest core selves…in order to be accepted, then we lose who we are and sometimes we get so caught up in pleasing others we never find ourselves again.  We invest ourselves in people we don’t even like, in organizations we don’t believe in, taking jobs in order to fit whatever the others define as acceptable.  We have stopped living our own sacred truth.  We become puppets.  We say the “right” things, but never share our own try opinion….if we can honestly remember what that is.

At this point in my life, and for many years now, I just can’t care what others think.  It drains me.  It bothers me so much I hide myself away in a journal or a walk.  So, I am me.  I am the best me I know.  I am not perfect, I am in process.  Each day I do all I can to learn something new.  I take the extra 5 miles to help someone else without expectation.  I look like I want to, and believe me, where I live the way I look is not really acceptable.  The heck with that.  I am celebrating life!!!!  Life is short.  I have lost mine more than once and doctors brought me back and I was sad when they did.  Had they not, I would not be doing what is acceptable to me.  Reaching my hand out, to help someone else up.  I don’t give handouts.  They are hand ups.

Some folks have used the phrase…“I guess I can tolerate that.”  All in reference to the way I look, the people I care about, the things that I do.  Please, do me a favor and don’t tolerate anything about me.  I don’t like the word and it does not fit me or my life.  Just keep on moving down the road and tolerate yourself. Here is what the dictionary says about tolerate: Allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one does not necessarily like or agree with) without interference.  Oh my, oh my.  Please don’t tolerate me one more second.

In my world, I accept  ALL people as they are, where they are.  If they do not fit well in my life, then I simply walk silently away.  I don’t tolerate…tolerance.

I want to encourage everyone to do a reality check.  Are you accepting of yourself and your life style?  I you passionate about life?  Is your life filled with people you accept without expectation or condition or are you tolerating them?  It is never too late to live your best and most authentic life.  If yours is not making you feel excited, hope filled, joy filled, and cosy…..take the time to make the changes you want to get to where you want to be.  You can do it.  Yes you can.

Sarah-Pink Welch © 2012

Facebook:  Sarah-Pink’s Promise

Lesson #30 We Must Do Something!

Yesterday as I was listening to the radio they announced that singer Whitney Houston had died.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know how.  Sitting here, I know her death will be drug related.  Please know that when I use the words “drug” or “substance” that I am including alcohol.  After all….alcohol is a drug.

Last week, I watched a 10 year old, homeless, heroin addict’s casket be lowered into the ground.  All senseless and sad.  How much more is America and the world for that matter going to be okay with this insanity?  People have died, people are dying.  Mothers and fathers don’t sleep because their child is out there somewhere, doing whatever it takes to get what they need to feel nothing again.  Partners are calling friends and family in search of their partner, who is out there somewhere, doing everything they can do to get what they need because they are so stressed out that being high is the only way they can cope with things.

Men and women are spending every cent they can get their hands on, feeding slot machines, lottery tickets, or card games in hope of hitting it big.  Sometimes they do hit it big, but they can’t walk away and before you know it, they are broke.  There is no food in their homes, the bills haven’t been paid, their children need to see the doctor, but the money is now in the pockets of some greedy idiot who could care less.

How many more lives, families, cities have to die before someone steps up and says NO MORE?  One life lost, one family broken up is enough for me.

Even cigarettes.  We all know that they are highly addictive.  The surgeon general of the U.S. puts nice warnings on the sides of each pack.  So they know already that is something that will destroy your health and eventually will have something to do with your death.  But, like alcohol…you can get your hands on them.

I am allowing myself a little time to be sad, to be angry, to be tired of it.  But, I am scrambling through my brain to come up with something that will end all the craziness.  Why is it that a 10 year old or myself know where to find the dealers and the powers that be don’t?  See, I consider drug dealers to be serial killers.  They are right up there with pedophiles, rapists, and physical/emotional abusers. I am not sorry to say that if I had my way, I would find them all leave them at Alcatraz, and I would fill the surrounding waters with Piranha’s…and once a week I would have a helicopter drop food there.  No bars, no guards, no visitors, no anything.

Why, why, why?  It just keeps getting worse and I know there are good folks doing what they can to help those of us who are addicted to get and stay well.  The odds however and not in their favor.  Let’s say someone has an addiction and do need what can be found in rehab centers.  Well, once you find a good rehab, it’s all about the insurance and money it takes to be there.  Most people have the wrong insurance or no insurance or no money.  That too is insanity.  If the government allows this stuff….the drugs, the gambling, the cigarettes to exist, then shouldn’t they be responsible for the aftermath that follows?  Shouldn’t it cost nothing to get well again?

Did you know, that currently 9 million Americans struggle with prescription medicine addiction?  Doctors just hand it out like candy. 50% of all car accidents are alcohol related.  Overall, about one third of the population has a drug addiction problem of one kind or another, whether legal or illegal.  And, we allow it…maybe not because we don’t care, but because our hands are tied.

I think, if every American, could start turning in the names of any dealers they have heard of, the police would have to start making arrests.  If you are not alcoholic….stop buying alcohol.   Drink tea instead.  Write the judges, write the senators, the congressmen, the governors, your city mayor and council people.  Don’t stop writing them.  Enough is enough.

Or maybe,we can just sit back and ignore it.  I mean if it hasn’t affected you why care?  I know something you don’t.  Eventually, it affects everyone.

Take a stand and do something.

Sarah© 2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

***The Lemonade Stand®***

The Lemonade Stand® is a very special, and real place.  It is made up of a very diverse group of amazing people.  You will find The Lemonade Stand® on Facebook right now.  Soon, it will stand in it’s own light.  If you would like to join us, just send a friend request to Sarah-Pink Welch and leave a message with The Lemonade Stand on it.

The group was created to allow folks to come together with a single focus…..Whole Life Wellness.  That’s Mind, body, spirit, their homes, finances, relationships, their jobs and on and on.  If one part of your life lacks balance, everything else will sooner than later suffer for it.  When you ignore your own physical being how will you ever be able to show up for work and be productive?  If you have drama and chaos in your life, how will you raise happy, well adjusted children?  You won’t.

My colleague and Jersey sistah, came up with the idea to form a group on Facebook.  Diane Robertelli……you are one amazing and extraordinary woman!!!!  We are both Certified Life Coaches.  We have extensive backgrounds in fields that led us into the field of helping other people to live their best lives.  It’s our passion.  It’s our honor.  It’s our joy to walk the journey with the people we work with.  We love to see the healing take place, we love to see people make intentions and actually see them come to fruition.

So, if life has been handing you lemons, come join us at The Lemonade Stand®.  Pull up a chair and we’ll get to know you as we sip away on tall glasses of sweet, pink lemonade.

Sarah© 2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

Lesson #29 The Balancing Act

This could be a very tricky thing to do….balancing your life.  So what is balance?  The dictionary states that balance is “the equal distribution” of things.  Okay, I paraphrased….but I think you get what I’m saying.

Let’s look at typical human beans (this is how I spell us).   Okay, Jane and Joe both have a job, they have an apartment, Jane belongs to 3 clubs, Joe….bowls twice a week. On Sunday they attend church and have dinner with one or the other’s families.  They take turns.  Now, Jane only likes attending 2 meetings of the 3 clubs she belongs to, but she won’t give up the third because all the uber rich and amazing ladies are in that club.  Joe likes to bowl, but once a week is more than plenty for him.  He bowls twice a week because his boss is on the second team with him and he wants to appear like a “good company” man.  Jane and Joe both like the idea of church but, they attend one that is…wait for it……..uber cool.  All the supposedly rich and cool folks go there and Joe and Jane want to be uber everything.  Now just 2 miles away from their home is a church they have attended 3 times.  It is far from uber…..except in the God department.  The pastor is wonderful and offers sermons that Joe and Jane actually talked about the entire week after and they actually did things that the pastor suggested to do and they loved it.  They find going to dinner at each others families homes is nice, but doing it every single Sunday has become a bother.  They love their families, but they would really like to be at home on Sunday just to relax, talk, take a nap, and get ready for the week.  They have what seems like a balanced life right?  Well they don’t.

Jane sees her close friends very seldom, she doesn’t have time to go to Yoga (which she absolutely loves), she and Joe don’t take walks or bike rides anymore and  that causes her to feel sad.  Jane loves to cook, but with her job, the meetings, bowling, laundry, cleaning, returning phone calls and answering emails, there is NO time for any of that.  They have take-out almost every night for dinner.  Jane and Joe have unequaled themselves right out of life.  Can you imagine if they had a child?

So let’s sit down with Joe and Jane and see what we can do to help them find balance.  They are both willing and more than open to not being “uber”.  So, that means Jane could give up that club she doesn’t really care for.  Joe likes his job, but he won’t get fired if he stops bowling with his boss.  That frees up another night.  They decide that if they work together, they can clean the apartment, do the laundry all at once and be done with it.  They realize it can even be fun and gives them time to talk with each other.  As they looked at their schedules they decide they will each call their parents and let them know that they will only be having dinner with them once a month.  Guess what happened when they did that?  Both their mothers thanked them, because they were long past tired of cooking big meals every other Sunday.

Here is the life of Jane and Joe now.  Jane is able to cook and bake 4 – 5 times a week.  She got back into her Yoga class and sees her close friends afterward at a cafe nearby.  Joe cleaned up their bikes and bought new wheels and they ride together once a week.  Weather permitting they take a walk nearly every night.  Joe only bowls one evening a week now, so in place of bowling the other evening he either reads, watches television with Jane, or messes around with things that need to be fixed in their apartment.  He loves fixing things.  They have now even switched churches.  Instead of driving 17 miles one way to the “uber” church, they drive 2 miles to the church where they receive wonderful, uplifting and encouraging things to ponder and grow with.

Everyone needs the following to have a balanced life….if you work you work (and if you are a stay at home mom/dad you are working), then you need to have  “Me Time.”  This is time to just be.  You need “Social Time”.  This is when you meet with a friend or two and do whatever you decide to do.  You need to schedule time for taking care of the place where you live and your clothing as well as time to pay bills, return calls and answer mail.

The one thing that will totally mess you up is giving up your “Me Time.”  If you aren’t okay, I sadly promise you that everything around you will be messed up including your own health.

Balance.

Sarah©2012

hopeslifecoaching.com