Tag Archive | Uncategorized

World AIDS Awareness Day December 1st, 2011


Happy December and please remember that today is World AIDS Awareness Day.  Yes, we get one day dedicated to helping people become aware, understand, and cope with AIDS.

HIV, the gift that keeps on giving.  And there is no place on Earth to return it.  I have AIDS.  I acquired HIV when I had my first cancer surgery on December 26th, 1984.  There was no test to screen for HIV in 1984.  Thankfully, there is one now and it’s been around for awhile.

But, to avoid all of the fear, worry and genuine yuck of it all here are some steps to take to avoid the whole HIV+ issue.

If you are shooting up drugs, and I hope you aren’t, PLEASE don’t share needles.  If you need help getting off drugs, let me know and I will do all I can to help you.  If I can get clean and sober, and stay that way for almost 40 years, so can you.

Next…don’t have sex with everyone.  In fact abstinence has a lot of merits.  If you won’t abstain, then use common sense and stay safe.  Go to your doctor or clinic and get tested.  You no longer have to wait weeks for the result.  There are good medications available now.  Trust me, I was a guinea pig for many of them.  Now, I don’t have to take so many each day.  If you are HIV+ or have full blown AIDS, BE HONEST.  Tell your partner.

Be safe not sick.

Now for more truth.  You can hug me, kiss me, drink from the same fountain I do, you can donate blood (and please do that), you can dance with me, laugh with me, cry with me, touch me.  You do NOT have to move 500 feet away from me.  Yes, my immune system is compromised so please get your flu shot.  Please stay home if you are ill, I pick up illness quicker than you can say Swiffer.

Have a great December 1st evening and wear some red.  Wear RED all month long…in fact buy anything that has the  (red) word on it.  The money goes to a good cause.

Stay safe, happy and smile a lot.

P.S.  Thank you to all who care about this!!!!!

Sarah- Pink Welch © 2011

Facebook: Sarah-Pink’s PromiseAIDSTree1

Lesson # 48 A Bad Day ~ ~ ~ A New Perspective


HaveAGoodDay23Recently, more than usual, I have been really hearing and listening to what people say.  Not just to me, but what they say to others, including themselves.

Someone was commenting on the weather and decided it was a bad day because it was raining.  Someone else couldn’t find their car keys so they could get to work, and that was the beginning of a bad day.  I asked someone else what constituted a bad day for them and they shared that when they could not get their hair to do what they wanted it to, it “ruined” their day. Another person said that being in the retail business caused many a bad day because the customers were often “rude” or “nasty”.

Personally, I am happy to wake up and see a new day.  The weather is nothing I can control and that is a huge relief to me.  Being in charge of the weather would be a challenge to say the least.

Then I think of the homeless kids I love so much.  They live outside, seldom have decent food, clean water or proper clothing, never know when they might get arrested or put back into the foster care system and honestly, being homeless and ranging in age from 23 to 6 years old is insane to me.  What is even more enlightening to me is that they don’t really complain about the weather, their hair, traffic jams, being late, their clothes; most don’t even complain about being homeless.

I also spend a lot of time with people who have cancer and AIDS.  They don’t complain about lost keys, the weather, hair…bald is beautiful, their clothes, traffic….they are just grateful for a new day.

Spending time with the women in prison gives another new perspective on the “bad” day.  They have made mistakes…;  some intentional, some circumstantial, some were all about how they grew up and the will to survive in a world that had never been kind to them.  Yes they have food, clothing, a place to sleep, and not too many worries if you don’t count missing your children, your family, or freedom.  You may be saying to yourself that they are in prison because they did something “bad.”  But, I have a really hard time judging them.  I was not in their shoes and these women are not career criminals.  They just made a mistake, so they sit day in day out in a cell.  Many don’t see the sky, or breathe the crisp almost winter air.  Their families sometimes write, but they are stuck in time until they have served their sentences.

So, what is a “bad” day?  My personal intention is that no day is bad.  It is an opportunity, an adventure, a blessing a chance to make a positive difference in the space where I live.

What is your “bad” day?

Sarah-Pink Welch ©2011

Facebook:  Sarah-Pink’s Promise

Lesson # 32 When The Other Shoe Drops!


Many people live their lives’ waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I happen to be one of them.  It’s not the best way or the happiest way to live, but it is all I have ever known.  I can be sitting quietly and BAM, I get blindsided by some unhappy occurrence.  I don’t spend time obsessing over things, because in life….stuff just happens.  I just have a small place in the back of my brain that holds a shoe and eventually it drops.  I don’t believe in curses, coincidences, or accidents.  Things happen for a reason.  Sometimes, along my journey I see why, but most of the time I have no idea.

That’s how chronic illness is….or being homeless….or being an addict….or not having a job, and on and on.

Now, I have worked on a solution for this waiting business.  It involves getting out of my head and getting out of the way and reaching out to help someone else.  When I am helping I am not wondering about the shoe.  It fades away into some far away place that all shoes go to.  Maybe doing the same thing would help you.  There’s nothing to lose really.  If reaching out passed yourself doesn’t take away that “waiting” feeling, I doubt much else will.

The other day, as I said before, I was minding my own business and one of my doctors called.  “We found the cancer.”  You see, it had miraculously disappeared.  Every single tumor had vanished.  The only problem was that my blood work showed that I still had cancer.  Well…it was playing hide and seek and I refused to play.  No seeking on my part.  Now it has been found and on Monday February 20th I begin chemotherapy again.  I have had it so often I stopped counting.  Irregardless, the shoe dropped and I didn’t die.  As a matter of fact I feel better now because it has fallen and I’m no longer waiting for anything to fall.

So, if you tend to be like me, take some time and figure out how to switch out the “waiting” to doing instead!

Sarah© 2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

Lesson #31 Acceptance vs. Tolerance


The dictionary defines Acceptance as the following…“Favorable reception; approval”  I think most people have a instinctive need to be accepted.  We want to fit in, we want to be liked.  But, when we have to change who we are…our truest core selves…in order to be accepted, then we lose who we are and sometimes we get so caught up in pleasing others we never find ourselves again.  We invest ourselves in people we don’t even like, in organizations we don’t believe in, taking jobs in order to fit whatever the others define as acceptable.  We have stopped living our own sacred truth.  We become puppets.  We say the “right” things, but never share our own try opinion….if we can honestly remember what that is.

At this point in my life, and for many years now, I just can’t care what others think.  It drains me.  It bothers me so much I hide myself away in a journal or a walk.  So, I am me.  I am the best me I know.  I am not perfect, I am in process.  Each day I do all I can to learn something new.  I take the extra 5 miles to help someone else without expectation.  I look like I want to, and believe me, where I live the way I look is not really acceptable.  The heck with that.  I am celebrating life!!!!  Life is short.  I have lost mine more than once and doctors brought me back and I was sad when they did.  Had they not, I would not be doing what is acceptable to me.  Reaching my hand out, to help someone else up.  I don’t give handouts.  They are hand ups.

Some folks have used the phrase…“I guess I can tolerate that.”  All in reference to the way I look, the people I care about, the things that I do.  Please, do me a favor and don’t tolerate anything about me.  I don’t like the word and it does not fit me or my life.  Just keep on moving down the road and tolerate yourself. Here is what the dictionary says about tolerateAllow the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one does not necessarily like or agree with) without interference.  Oh my, oh my.  Please don’t tolerate me one more second.

In my world, I accept  ALL people as they are, where they are.  If they do not fit well in my life, then I simply walk silently away.  I don’t toleratetolerance.

I want to encourage everyone to do a reality check.  Are you accepting of yourself and your life style?  I you passionate about life?  Is your life filled with people you accept without expectation or condition or are you tolerating them?  It is never too late to live your best and most authentic life.  If yours is not making you feel excited, hope filled, joy filled, and cosy…..take the time to make the changes you want to get to where you want to be.  You can do it.  Yes you can.

Sarah-Pink Welch © 2012

Facebook:  Sarah-Pink’s Promise

Lesson #30 We Must Do Something!


Yesterday as I was listening to the radio they announced that singer Whitney Houston had died.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know how.  Sitting here, I know her death will be drug related.  Please know that when I use the words “drug” or “substance” that I am including alcohol.  After all….alcohol is a drug.

Last week, I watched a 10 year old, homeless, heroin addict’s casket be lowered into the ground.  All senseless and sad.  How much more is America and the world for that matter going to be okay with this insanity?  People have died, people are dying.  Mothers and fathers don’t sleep because their child is out there somewhere, doing whatever it takes to get what they need to feel nothing again.  Partners are calling friends and family in search of their partner, who is out there somewhere, doing everything they can do to get what they need because they are so stressed out that being high is the only way they can cope with things.

Men and women are spending every cent they can get their hands on, feeding slot machines, lottery tickets, or card games in hope of hitting it big.  Sometimes they do hit it big, but they can’t walk away and before you know it, they are broke.  There is no food in their homes, the bills haven’t been paid, their children need to see the doctor, but the money is now in the pockets of some greedy idiot who could care less.

How many more lives, families, cities have to die before someone steps up and says NO MORE?  One life lost, one family broken up is enough for me.

Even cigarettes.  We all know that they are highly addictive.  The surgeon general of the U.S. puts nice warnings on the sides of each pack.  So they know already that is something that will destroy your health and eventually will have something to do with your death.  But, like alcohol…you can get your hands on them.

I am allowing myself a little time to be sad, to be angry, to be tired of it.  But, I am scrambling through my brain to come up with something that will end all the craziness.  Why is it that a 10 year old or myself know where to find the dealers and the powers that be don’t?  See, I consider drug dealers to be serial killers.  They are right up there with pedophiles, rapists, and physical/emotional abusers. I am not sorry to say that if I had my way, I would find them all leave them at Alcatraz, and I would fill the surrounding waters with Piranha’s…and once a week I would have a helicopter drop food there.  No bars, no guards, no visitors, no anything.

Why, why, why?  It just keeps getting worse and I know there are good folks doing what they can to help those of us who are addicted to get and stay well.  The odds however and not in their favor.  Let’s say someone has an addiction and do need what can be found in rehab centers.  Well, once you find a good rehab, it’s all about the insurance and money it takes to be there.  Most people have the wrong insurance or no insurance or no money.  That too is insanity.  If the government allows this stuff….the drugs, the gambling, the cigarettes to exist, then shouldn’t they be responsible for the aftermath that follows?  Shouldn’t it cost nothing to get well again?

Did you know, that currently 9 million Americans struggle with prescription medicine addiction?  Doctors just hand it out like candy. 50% of all car accidents are alcohol related.  Overall, about one third of the population has a drug addiction problem of one kind or another, whether legal or illegal.  And, we allow it…maybe not because we don’t care, but because our hands are tied.

I think, if every American, could start turning in the names of any dealers they have heard of, the police would have to start making arrests.  If you are not alcoholic….stop buying alcohol.   Drink tea instead.  Write the judges, write the senators, the congressmen, the governors, your city mayor and council people.  Don’t stop writing them.  Enough is enough.

Or maybe,we can just sit back and ignore it.  I mean if it hasn’t affected you why care?  I know something you don’t.  Eventually, it affects everyone.

Take a stand and do something.

Sarah© 2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

***The Lemonade Stand®***


The Lemonade Stand® is a very special, and real place.  It is made up of a very diverse group of amazing people.  You will find The Lemonade Stand® on Facebook right now.  Soon, it will stand in it’s own light.  If you would like to join us, just send a friend request to Sarah-Pink Welch and leave a message with The Lemonade Stand on it.

The group was created to allow folks to come together with a single focus…..Whole Life Wellness.  That’s Mind, body, spirit, their homes, finances, relationships, their jobs and on and on.  If one part of your life lacks balance, everything else will sooner than later suffer for it.  When you ignore your own physical being how will you ever be able to show up for work and be productive?  If you have drama and chaos in your life, how will you raise happy, well adjusted children?  You won’t.

My colleague and Jersey sistah, came up with the idea to form a group on Facebook.  Diane Robertelli……you are one amazing and extraordinary woman!!!!  We are both Certified Life Coaches.  We have extensive backgrounds in fields that led us into the field of helping other people to live their best lives.  It’s our passion.  It’s our honor.  It’s our joy to walk the journey with the people we work with.  We love to see the healing take place, we love to see people make intentions and actually see them come to fruition.

So, if life has been handing you lemons, come join us at The Lemonade Stand®.  Pull up a chair and we’ll get to know you as we sip away on tall glasses of sweet, pink lemonade.

Sarah© 2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

Lesson #29 The Balancing Act


This could be a very tricky thing to do….balancing your life.  So what is balance?  The dictionary states that balance is “the equal distribution” of things.  Okay, I paraphrased….but I think you get what I’m saying.

Let’s look at typical human beans (this is how I spell us).   Okay, Jane and Joe both have a job, they have an apartment, Jane belongs to 3 clubs, Joe….bowls twice a week. On Sunday they attend church and have dinner with one or the other’s families.  They take turns.  Now, Jane only likes attending 2 meetings of the 3 clubs she belongs to, but she won’t give up the third because all the uber rich and amazing ladies are in that club.  Joe likes to bowl, but once a week is more than plenty for him.  He bowls twice a week because his boss is on the second team with him and he wants to appear like a “good company” man.  Jane and Joe both like the idea of church but, they attend one that is…wait for it……..uber cool.  All the supposedly rich and cool folks go there and Joe and Jane want to be uber everything.  Now just 2 miles away from their home is a church they have attended 3 times.  It is far from uber…..except in the God department.  The pastor is wonderful and offers sermons that Joe and Jane actually talked about the entire week after and they actually did things that the pastor suggested to do and they loved it.  They find going to dinner at each others families homes is nice, but doing it every single Sunday has become a bother.  They love their families, but they would really like to be at home on Sunday just to relax, talk, take a nap, and get ready for the week.  They have what seems like a balanced life right?  Well they don’t.

Jane sees her close friends very seldom, she doesn’t have time to go to Yoga (which she absolutely loves), she and Joe don’t take walks or bike rides anymore and  that causes her to feel sad.  Jane loves to cook, but with her job, the meetings, bowling, laundry, cleaning, returning phone calls and answering emails, there is NO time for any of that.  They have take-out almost every night for dinner.  Jane and Joe have unequaled themselves right out of life.  Can you imagine if they had a child?

So let’s sit down with Joe and Jane and see what we can do to help them find balance.  They are both willing and more than open to not being “uber”.  So, that means Jane could give up that club she doesn’t really care for.  Joe likes his job, but he won’t get fired if he stops bowling with his boss.  That frees up another night.  They decide that if they work together, they can clean the apartment, do the laundry all at once and be done with it.  They realize it can even be fun and gives them time to talk with each other.  As they looked at their schedules they decide they will each call their parents and let them know that they will only be having dinner with them once a month.  Guess what happened when they did that?  Both their mothers thanked them, because they were long past tired of cooking big meals every other Sunday.

Here is the life of Jane and Joe now.  Jane is able to cook and bake 4 – 5 times a week.  She got back into her Yoga class and sees her close friends afterward at a cafe nearby.  Joe cleaned up their bikes and bought new wheels and they ride together once a week.  Weather permitting they take a walk nearly every night.  Joe only bowls one evening a week now, so in place of bowling the other evening he either reads, watches television with Jane, or messes around with things that need to be fixed in their apartment.  He loves fixing things.  They have now even switched churches.  Instead of driving 17 miles one way to the “uber” church, they drive 2 miles to the church where they receive wonderful, uplifting and encouraging things to ponder and grow with.

Everyone needs the following to have a balanced life….if you work you work (and if you are a stay at home mom/dad you are working), then you need to have  “Me Time.”  This is time to just be.  You need “Social Time”.  This is when you meet with a friend or two and do whatever you decide to do.  You need to schedule time for taking care of the place where you live and your clothing as well as time to pay bills, return calls and answer mail.

The one thing that will totally mess you up is giving up your “Me Time.”  If you aren’t okay, I sadly promise you that everything around you will be messed up including your own health.

Balance.

Sarah©2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

 

 

Lesson #28 Loss, Worry, And Fear


Let me start by saying that there are only 2 emotions—-LOVE and FEAR!  So, if you took a piece of paper and wrote LOVE on one side and FEAR on the other, you will quickly see that anger for instance is FEAR based.  Loneliness is FEAR based.  Happiness is LOVE based.  Hope is LOVE based.

Now loss is loss and it falls under fear.  We human beans are hardwired to become fearful when we experience the loss of someone of something we love.  It is NEVER easy to lose what we love.  The wonderful thing is that we have the ability to grieve the loss…now we don’t want to linger too long in the grief or we will get stuck there.  But, once some time has passed, we can celebrate the happiness and moments of joy we had with that person or thing we have lost.  I have a journal that I use only for people who have gone on to Heaven.  It is filled with ever wonderful thing I remember them saying or doing.  If I become sad…which is FEAR based, I grab that journal and read until I laugh.  Enduring a loss can be difficult….is difficult, but time is an enormous healer.  I have a son that I do not see or speak with.  It was actually killing me.  I had to LOVE him and myself enough to let him go.

Worry is another FEAR based thing.  And sadly, it is not a positive thing.  In medicine, we have found that worry causes depression, weight gain, insomnia, headaches, increased blood pressure, increased cholesterol, and it even messes with our blood sugar.  Worry serves no purpose.  When we worry we are hurting ourselves, taking up valuable time (life is very short), ignoring family and friends or our jobs. Worry has led to many a stroke and heart attack.  It is okay to be concerned, but when more than 1 hour of your day is consumed with obsessive worrying you will be in trouble.  Try to do something healthy and positive instead.  If you find yourself beginning to worry, call a friend and talk only about happy things, take a walk, get a coloring book and some cool crayons and color.  Just get out of your head.  Worry has never fixed anything.  Worrying over and over again becomes a habit even an addiction.  Some folks do not know how to live without worry, chaos, and drama.  Peacefulness makes them nervous.  So take some time and flip that worry into a stepping stone toward peace and hope.

Now FEAR is an actual emotion.  It has the ability to paralyze us.  It has the power to take our spirits away and crush them.  Being afraid of spiders or storms is usually normal unless you go into an anxiety attack.  If that is the case I encourage you to talk to a Life Coach or see a professional.  If you find yourself saying things like….”if I was only a better_______this would not have happened”,  “if I had known sooner I could have saved so and so”, “I called everywhere looking for him or her”, “What if I lose my job”, “how will I ever pay for this”.  STOP!! STOP!!  STOP!!  That is all faulty thinking.  You will “coulda, woulda, shoulda, if only, what iffed yourself to an early grave.  No one can make anyone anything, no one can change anyone, no one can control anything but ourselves and the way we react or become proactive toward things.  So let go of the fear.  Let it go please.  It is not helping…it is hurting you.

Loss, worry and fear can become a vicious cycle.  Over and over and over you will go.  I encourage you to make it an intention that you are NOT FEARFUL!!!!!  Write it down on colored index cards…I am not afraid, I am okay, God is in control, I am strong, I am capable…go crazy with the positive affirmations.  It takes 21 days to form a habit…..put those cards everywhere and you WILL STOP being fearful.

You matter.  You are beautiful.  You are capable.  You are not responsible for anyone’s actions but your own.

Peace Always

Sarah© 2012

hopeslifecoaching

If You Really Knew Me…….


You would know I am more than pink hair, tattoos, piercings and the like.  If you really knew me you would not assume anything based on my appearance.  If you really knew me, you would know that I am not brave and strong but I struggle to appear that way.  I am fearful more times than not.  If you really knew me you would know that I am not a “party” creature or fond of groups of people.  I like being alone, but not lonely.  If you really knew me you would know that I miss my dad so very much it hurts; you would know that my mom, my brother and one of my children do not even like me.  This makes me sad, but there is nothing I can do to change that.  If you really knew me you would know that I have less than 5 friends…people who truly know me inside and out.  If you really knew me you would know that life has been difficult for me.  You would know I was molested for several years and blamed myself, I was abused and blamed myself, and I was raped twice and blame myself.  If you really knew me you would know that I grew up hearing….”you aren’t good enough”, “get out of the way”, “why did you live”, “why can’t you be like so and so “, “you ruined my life.”  If you really knew me, you would know that I wear my feelings on the outside and get hurt pretty often.  If you really knew me, you would know that if I love someone, I love them with all that I have and would do anything to help them.  You would know that the word LOVE is important to me and I see it as a verb.  If you really knew me you would know that I have cancer and AIDS but I don’t let them define me.  They are just another stumbling block that I keep flipping over to make a stepping stone going forward.  If you really knew me you would know that I am not impressed by money, cars, clothing, name droppers, fancy anything.  If you really knew me you would know that I envy families that are close knit and care about each other.  That is probably what I have always missed in my life the most.  If you really knew me you would know that the pink hair happened because of the cancer and my need to make a statement about finding a cure.  The tattoos and piercing and my clothing are all meant to keep people at a distance so that they won’t see how shy I really am.  If you really knew me you would know that I have always wanted to make a difference, for the better, in someone’s life.  You would know that if something is wrong, I will speak up and try to fix it or find someone who will.  If you really knew me you would know that I believe drug dealers and child molesters are the same as someone who kills just because they can.  I have no use for them and they are ruining lives every day all around the world.  If you really knew me you would know I love to read, write, listen to music, play in the snow, go fishing and camping, make things, bake, sew, dream, and take naps.  If you really knew me you would know that my husband is a truly wonderful man and I wish I had met him a long time ago.  If you really knew me  you would know that I do matter, I am worthy, I am intelligent, I am somewhat pretty, and I am finally content.  If you really knew me you would know I love words, board games, popcorn, flowers, my dog Pink, my grandchildren I have never met and the grandson I don’t see very often.  If you really knew me you would know I have begun saying to a few people….”you are NOT allowed to be mean to me anymore.”  If you really knew me you would know I lose games on purpose so people won’t know I am smart.  I ask questions I already know the answer to.  You would know that I “dumb down” 95% of the time so people won’t be intimidated by me.  If you really knew me you would know that it takes every ounce of courage I have to speak to groups of “at risk” kids or adults about drugs, alcohol, abuse, and leading a happy life and knowing they matter.  If you really knew me you would know I do that with the hope that it will help just one person.  If you really knew me you would know I go through my day in prayer for others.  I you really knew me you would know that I like things simple, free of chaos and drama, peace filled, hope filled, and joy filled.  If you really knew me you would know I would be very happy living in the country, in a small cozy house with a fireplace, with a huge garden, a few chickens and goats, maybe even a cow.  I would not mind not having a computer, a phone, and all this crazy electronic jazz.  If you really knew me…………

Sarah-Pink Welch © 2012

Facebook:  Sarah-Pink’s Promise

Lesson # 27 Affirmations


When most people think of affirmations, they think of something that’s positive.  But, like many things, affirmations are a double-edged sword.

The power of words is really in play when it comes to affirmations.  If you are dealing with some self-esteem issues and you tend to walk around every day saying things like….I’m not good enough—I’ll never get that job—I don’t want to take the chance—I am so fat—I am not good at this…..well, you are very liable to see those “words” become a self fulfilling prophecy.  When you say things over and over again, you become what you are saying.  It takes 21 days to make something a habit.  It often takes a lifetime to break them.

Affirmations are often a type of “faking it until you make it” exercise!  Stand in front of a mirror and every time you do say…I love you to yourself.  Then get some colorful index cards and write great things on them…for example, I am capable—I am worthy—I am lovable—I am funny—I attract good people into my life—I am healthy—I am responsible.  Tape them all over your home so that you will be sure to see them.  The last time I checked, God is not in the business of creating junk.  People do, but not God.  None of us are perfect.  We are people always in process; unless you have given up.  I want to encourage you to give yourself chances.  You matter.  You are important.  You add value to other people’s lives.  You are stronger than you realize.  You are doing the next right thing.

So, make a decision, an intention, to love yourself…flaws and all.  If you don’t care about yourself no one else will either.

Sarah© 2012

hopeslifecoaching.com