World AIDS Awareness Day December 1st, 2011

Happy December and please remember that today is World AIDS Awareness Day.  Yes, we get one day dedicated to helping people become aware, understand, and cope with AIDS.

HIV, the gift that keeps on giving.  And there is no place on Earth to return it.  I have AIDS.  I acquired HIV when I had my first cancer surgery on December 26th, 1984.  There was no test to screen for HIV in 1984.  Thankfully, there is one now and it’s been around for awhile.

But, to avoid all of the fear, worry and genuine yuck of it all here are some steps to take to avoid the whole HIV+ issue.

If you are shooting up drugs, and I hope you aren’t, PLEASE don’t share needles.  If you need help getting off drugs, let me know and I will do all I can to help you.  If I can get clean and sober, and stay that way for almost 40 years, so can you.

Next…don’t have sex with everyone.  In fact abstinence has a lot of merits.  If you won’t abstain, then use common sense and stay safe.  Go to your doctor or clinic and get tested.  You no longer have to wait weeks for the result.  There are good medications available now.  Trust me, I was a guinea pig for many of them.  Now, I don’t have to take so many each day.  If you are HIV+ or have full blown AIDS, BE HONEST.  Tell your partner.

Be safe not sick.

Now for more truth.  You can hug me, kiss me, drink from the same fountain I do, you can donate blood (and please do that), you can dance with me, laugh with me, cry with me, touch me.  You do NOT have to move 500 feet away from me.  Yes, my immune system is compromised so please get your flu shot.  Please stay home if you are ill, I pick up illness quicker than you can say Swiffer.

Have a great December 1st evening and wear some red.  Wear RED all month long…in fact buy anything that has the  (red) word on it.  The money goes to a good cause.

Stay safe, happy and smile a lot.

P.S.  Thank you to all who care about this!!!!!

Sarah- Pink Welch © 2011

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Lesson # 47 I Am…….

I am your worst nightmare, I am your dream come true.

I am addiction/alcoholism, I am the solution.

I am your mirror, I am your reflection.

I am the still pond, I am the waves upon the ocean.

I am the loud thunderstorm, I am the rainbow afterward.

I am the dry desert of sand, I am the lush garden of beautiful flowers.

I am the homeless woman sleeping on the sidewalk, I am the wealthy woman playing tennis at the country club.

I am all your hopes and dreams, I am reality.

I am the face of AIDS and cancer, I am the face of hopefulness.

I am the music, I am your silence.

I am am your fears and anger, I am your peace.

I am the greatest lie you ever told, I am the cold, hard truth.

I am the breeze through the trees, I am the tornado.

I am the book you love to read, I am the blank paper where words will never appear.

I am the birds flying in the sky, I am the ostrich that never will.

I am poverty, I am more than enough.

I am tattoos and piercings, I am skin untouched.

I am loneliness, I am the shoulder you can cry on.

I am conservative, I am liberal.

I am the road less traveled, I am the crowded highway.

I am a leap of faith, I am too afraid to try anything new.

I am acceptance, I am rejection.

I am your question, I am your answer.

I am the paradox.

I am the contradiction.

I am undefinable.

We are all connected and separate.

I am you and I am who I am.

Sarah-Pink Welch ©2013

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Lesson #44 Affirmations Change the way you think and speak, and your life will change!!!

Change the way you think and speak, and your life will change!!!

*****AFFIRMATIONS*****

This is what you will need:

1.   Get some index cards…white or colored…or some paper, a notebook or electronic device
2.   You will need colored pencils, pens, crayons, or a regular pen
3.   You will also need tape

When you have decided that there are areas in your life that need improvement or that you need to be rid of something, or you have chosen to change your life for the best, or you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired…affirmations are one of the perfect tools given to us to use to do it.

Words have power.  For we humans, when we see things in print they tend to mean more.  Our minds are the fastest, most up to date computers in the universe.

God SPOKE the world into existence.  He did not say…”sooner or later, let there be light,” He did not say, “in a little while let there be light.”  He said, “Let there be light.”  And we have the world.  Always be cautious when you speak.  I sit each day as people share with me over the phone how bad their lives’ are or how awful their job, marriage, financial situation, self-esteem, etc., is.  So, I always ask if they want to change that.  99% of the time the answer is YES!!!!

Be careful when using certain words and phrases.  I encourage you to erase them from your vocabulary.  Let’s say you want/need to reduce your weight.  If you say, I have to LOSE 20 pounds…you will lose the 20 pounds…the issue is, our minds are hard-wired to find things we have lost.  We go over and over it in our minds, consciously and subconsciously over and over again…I lost _________, I wonder where it is or where it went.  I can promise you, that weight you lost will be found and guess what, it will bring back extra with it.  If you tend to use phrases like…”So and so gives me a headache.”  “I can’t stand this anymore,”  “get off my back,” “so and so, or they are going to give me a heart attack,” “oh this day is off to a terrible start.”  Well, look at folks with bad backs, bad knees, migraines, those who have had heart attacks or strokes,  stiff or painful necks, or watch how their day turns out.  We speak things into existence.

Why is Sarah-Pink not healed of cancer/AIDS etc., if affirmations work and are so wonderful????  I cannot answer that question.  I use affirmations everyday.  All I can say is I am not dead, I am handling the physical pain, and I have a wonderful life.  So, in some sense of the word, I am healed.

Here are some affirmations you may feel free to use or please feel free to write your own.

I am not a mistake or accident.

I have purpose.

I am capable and intelligent.

I have more than enough money continuously coming into my life.  My bills are paid and I have more than enough to help others.

I do not lack anything.

I am a good steward of my money and possessions.

Every organ in my body works perfectly.

My blood pressure is perfect.

Everyday in every way my life is better, better, better.

I have let go and let God.

I have safe and healthy boundaries, but remain flexible.

I do not allow mean or toxic people in my life.

I deserve God’s best for me, in all things.

I am NOT a doormat.

My heart is not a revolving door.

I exercise in some fashion 30 minutes a day, _______days a week and I feel wonderful.

I have shed/reduced 20 pounds and feel good in my own skin.

I have faced my fears and did not die.

I am no longer filled with anxiety.  I am calm and filled with peace.

I have created a family that is not connected to me by blood, but by love and mutual respect.

I remain clean and sober and I am not tempted to drink or use.

I cannot fix or change anyone or anything but myself and my own circumstances.

I have the perfect job, with the perfect pay.  I am a benefit to my employer and the company is a benefit to me.

I am happy and excited about being alive.

I properly take the medicine my doctor prescribed to me and I am in good shape.

These are just some.  Use them as you will, create your own.

Once you have your index cards, paper, notebook or electronic device, write out your personal affirmations.  I have some of my own that are in every room of my home and my car and they stay there until I get it.  It takes 21 days of doing something to make it a habit so some of mine hang on a door, mirror, wall, refrigerator, or in my car for awhile.  Some I have had for 30+ years as a reminder…because I will not allow myself to believe the lies I grew up hearing and believing.

If you need any help, please email me at SimplySarahJazz@fuse.net or inbox me on Facebook at Sarah-Pink Welch and I would be happy to help you.

I love you all very much.

Love & Peace!!!

Sarah-Pink welch © 2012

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The Cancer!

Here is my body’s cancer journey…….

In 1963 I was 8 years old.  It was Christmas Eve morning and my mother was giving me a bath.  She felt 3 small lumps, where my left breast would develop later.  I was born a sickly child, so she quickly called our family doctor and told him I needed to be seen right then and there.  This was 1963, so doctors were a lot different than most are now.  He told my mother to meet him at his office in a few minutes.  We arrived, doc checked me out, looked at my mother and said, “Jane, these are just breast buds and there’s nothing to worry about.”  We went home and had a nice Christmas holiday.

I need to digress a bit so that you will get a clearer picture of things.  My paternal grandma was a Messianic Jew who lived in Germany with her sisters, brothers and parents.  For those of you who may not know what a Messianic Jew is, it simply means that my Grandma and her entire family were Jewish but believed strongly in Jesus.  Hitler was doing what Hitler did at the time, and eventually his group rounded up my Grandma’s entire family and they ended up as prisoners in Auschwitz…a concentration camp in Poland.  My grandma’s parents and her brothers were killed almost immediately, which left my Grandma and her two sisters..my Great Aunts’ Louise and Clara.  While being held there, they endured horrid things, the worst being experiments by Dr. Josef Mengele also known as “The Angel of Death.”  Eventually, the found freedom and ended up on Ellis Island.

As I was growing up I can’t remember a year that passed when someone on my grandma’s side of the family died of cancer.  Every single year it was a cousin, an child of a cousin, eventually my grandma, my dad’s sister, my great aunts….gone.  All from some weird, never seen before cancer.  Today, April 13th, 2012, the only people left are my brother, his daughter, myself, my three sons, and their children.  My eldest son, develops tumors often and thank God, once they are removed I breathe easier….until another shows up.

In 1984, I was working and I began to feel unusually tired, and I was thin to begin with but I began loosing weight and did not have much of an appetite.  I went to the doctor….the same one I had when I was 8, and he sent me to the hospital for a mammogram.  Well, they found multiple masses in both breasts.  I was 29…and I’m thinking..are they crazy or what.  On May 3rd, 1984 I received my diagnosis of Stage 4 breast cancer.  I had 3 sons, and my husband heard cancer, packed his things and left.  From May through mid October I went through radiation and chemo.  And 21 years and 1 day to the date of “having breast buds”, I had no boobettes at all.

All should have been much better right?  Wrong.  I recovered from the surgery, went through more treatment, and got a divorce and was still feeling not so wonderful.  There is a big difference between chemo sick and something’s not right in Denmark sick.  So, my husband had taken me off his insurance when he left…and I wasn’t aware of that.  I ended up being placed in a clinical trial because I had a rare form of cancer seen only in people who had any association with the good old Angel of Death!  Thank you God that my husband cancelled my insurance.  Had he not, I would not be here now.

I have made my final arrangements at least 16 times, tied up my loose ends often, had the hard talk with my boys, then with their wives, then with my grandchildren.  My cancer is insane.  Nothing is there one minute and the next week I have a new mass.  So far I have had the double radical mastectomy, part of my colon removed, my left kidney removed, it has invaded my throat, my ears, my lower jaw had to be removed and replaced, I have had tumors attached to the inside of my skull, 2 knee replacements, and currently I have a tumor in my heart.  It is shrinking, but I sure wish it would just vanish because this chemo has never been used on a human before.  I am the experimental rat your parents warned you about.  :o) I have to make it funny or I would go to my bed and just let go.  But, I love life.  Life is so amazingly beautiful to me it takes my breath away.  This cancer, as ugly as it is, has taught me how to live out loud, it has taught me kindness, compassion, the power of prayer and so much more.  I know what is really important and special in life and I am blessed.

When I had my first surgery, December 26th, 1984 I required blood transfusions.  In 1984 there was no way to screen blood for HIV.  A decade plus later I receive a letter from the blood bank stating that one of my blood donors had died due to complications of AIDS and they urged me to see my doctor immediately.  Well….yes I was HIV+ and now I am full blown AIDS.  I am making it.  I keep smiling even if I am faking it.  I lost my hair so many times I actually love being bald…but when I have hair it is PINK.  I have one pair of regular blue jeans that were my daddies, but if you open my closet you will feel like you just walked right into a bottle of Pepto Bismol.  I still have the old yellow star that my grandma was made to wear so that everyone new she was Jewish.  I take it with me to treatment.  I have never asked God, “why me.”  Why not me?  Better me than someone else, and because of all the experimental drugs all these years, people are using them and getting well.  So I don’t mind at all.

This is the story of my body’s cancer.  I am 57 now and I have no intention of leaving for awhile.  I will plant my pink flowers in the yard, drive my little Volkswagen Beetle when I can, and I am going to keep on smiling.

Sarah-Pink Welch ©2012

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UPDATE:  As of February 5th, 2013 I was removed from chemotherapy and put into a new study….all though the cancer is still here, it is quiet and I am participating in a French/Canadian study that is showing great promise.

UPDATE:  A full year has almost come and gone.  I still have the cancer but it seems to be taking a nap.  I am doing as well as I can and I feel wonderful.