Archive | September 2013

World AIDS Awareness Day December 1st, 2011


Happy December and please remember that today is World AIDS Awareness Day.  Yes, we get one day dedicated to helping people become aware, understand, and cope with AIDS.

HIV, the gift that keeps on giving.  And there is no place on Earth to return it.  I have AIDS.  I acquired HIV when I had my first cancer surgery on December 26th, 1984.  There was no test to screen for HIV in 1984.  Thankfully, there is one now and it’s been around for awhile.

But, to avoid all of the fear, worry and genuine yuck of it all here are some steps to take to avoid the whole HIV+ issue.

If you are shooting up drugs, and I hope you aren’t, PLEASE don’t share needles.  If you need help getting off drugs, let me know and I will do all I can to help you.  If I can get clean and sober, and stay that way for almost 40 years, so can you.

Next…don’t have sex with everyone.  In fact abstinence has a lot of merits.  If you won’t abstain, then use common sense and stay safe.  Go to your doctor or clinic and get tested.  You no longer have to wait weeks for the result.  There are good medications available now.  Trust me, I was a guinea pig for many of them.  Now, I don’t have to take so many each day.  If you are HIV+ or have full blown AIDS, BE HONEST.  Tell your partner.

Be safe not sick.

Now for more truth.  You can hug me, kiss me, drink from the same fountain I do, you can donate blood (and please do that), you can dance with me, laugh with me, cry with me, touch me.  You do NOT have to move 500 feet away from me.  Yes, my immune system is compromised so please get your flu shot.  Please stay home if you are ill, I pick up illness quicker than you can say Swiffer.

Have a great December 1st evening and wear some red.  Wear RED all month long…in fact buy anything that has the  (red) word on it.  The money goes to a good cause.

Stay safe, happy and smile a lot.

P.S.  Thank you to all who care about this!!!!!

Sarah- Pink Welch © 2011

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Lesson #78 Having A Balanced Life


Having balance in our lives is so important and as I learned recently <ahem>, you can burn out-fizzle-crash & burn without it.  The lengths I go to in order to see if I can do without balanced living is hysterical. DUH SARAH!!!!
We need time for ourselves, our work, our families, our friends, exercise, time to just be in nothingness, time to eat well and when you start skipping any of those you end up hanging on to frayed threads, praying not to fall. Been there, done that, have the tee shirt and coffee mug to prove it. Balanced living is easier to achieve than we think. It means getting rid of the excess and making sure we have plenty of the necessary. As I have written before, if something is no longer enjoyable or a benefit to you and vice versa, let go of it. It will wear you out. Love what you do and do what you love but never do just one or two things excessively. Once you get your balance back you will see how over your head in excess you were. Breathe, smile, laugh out loud, reach out and enjoy this day.
I love you all and I am sending you each a well balanced pink hug.

Sarah-Pink Welch ©2013

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Lesson #77 More About Boundaries


I have been working with lots of folks on creating healthy boundaries for themselves because no one was ever created to be a doormat, an ATM nor do they have a revolving doors in their hearts. We are not actually born with healthy boundaries. Boundaries are both physical and emotional. Boundaries or the lack of them is learned. In a healthy growing up environment we either learn to set healthy personal boundaries in order to maintain a positive self-concept, or self-image. It is our way of communicating to others that we have self-respect, self-worth, and will not allow others to define us. If, when growing up we were not respected, or did not see the adults in our lives’ respecting each other or other people we will tend to have low self-esteem, and a negative self image. We will also lack the skill and knowledge to honor and respect the boundaries of other people.
Without healthy boundaries, we tend to have lives’ full of drama, chaos, and
it would not be impossible to enjoy healthy relationships without the existence of personal boundaries, or without our willingness to accurately communicate them directly and honestly with others. We must recognize that each of us is a unique individual with distinct emotions, needs and preferences. This is equally true for our spouses, children, friends and co-workers. When we decide to set personal boundaries means to preserve your integrity and take responsibility for who you are, and to take control of your life and what you allow to happen in it. It is NEVER to late to start the boundary building process. It will shock some people when you begin to say NO to them or I WOULD RATHER NOT, but we teach people how to treat us and now is the perfect time to begin.
I love you all and I am sending you you pink, umbrella huggz…because I think it’s going to rain.

Sarah-Pink Welch  ©2013

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Lesson #76 Getting It Done


The time is now! Whatever you have been putting off doing, it is time to get busy and do it. I know there is always that fear (which is not real) that you may fall short. Who cares if you do? Keep doing it. I think you know I don’t believe in failure. If you are doing something–even if it is unsuccessful the first time–at least you did it. So keep up the good work. If you have a dream or goal, go for it. You want to shed some pounds, shed them, you want a new job, get it. You want a relationship, put yourself out there. Everything that is supposed to happen will. It’s that easy and that hard. Hush up the naysayers and keep at it. Everything will fall into place…but you have to begin in order to get there. The time is now. Have faith in yourself.
Look at all that you have made it through and keep moving forward. I believe in you. I love you all so very much and I am sending you all pink, successful huggz.

Sarah-Pink Welch ©2013

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Lesson #75 Positive Energy Vampires


There are mean spirited people in our world and I have a few theories about that and why they are that way. I personally call them Positive Energy Vampires and they will, if allowed to, suck the life right out of us. So, beware. You will know who they are because the smallest interaction with them will leave you drained and ready to pull your hair out if you have any. Set strong and safe boundaries and refuse to allow them in your life. I know that sounds harsh but it works. If you don’t, you will feel absolutely exhaustified and you will stop being able to take care of the things you love. Now I know you don’t want that any more than I do, so I encourage you to send the Vampires away. You are worth so much more than that. Please know that I love you bunches and I am sending you slightly, damp pink huggz.

 

Sarah-Pink Welch ©2013

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Lesson #74 Less Is Often Best


AllYouNeedIsLessLess is Best. This is my latest mantra. Less to no drama/chaos, less stuff to clean, less on my plate = more time to be with folks that need some help,
less is best! How is your life? Is it on the Less side or the More side? I know that I would not do well with more. I am such a simple person. Music, books, paper, canvas, paints-pencils-pens, my prayer quilt, my foo-foo dog, my husband Kim, a few clothes and some shoes, and I am all good. I think I would make a better bag lady than I realized. I want to encourage you that having tons of everything is fine if that is really your thing…but often that comes from a void in your heart. Stuff and lots of busyness is temporary.
I have my clients, my street kids, my prison ladies, my less than 5 friends, my foo-foo dog and the people I work with that aren’t clients. That’s plenty.
Once you begin to go through your life and all your possessions and activities it can become scary. Keep clearing stuff out. Others will appreciate all that you give away. Less busyness means more time to enjoy life. If you had to live comfortably in one room could you? How many activities could you lose and be content? Think about this as we bound through spring. Less is always best….more is a bore. I love you all and I am sending you lots of love and pink huggz.

Sarah-Pink Welch ©2013

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Lesson #73 More On Happiness


HappinessAndJoy1Happiness. True happiness, is something we must find within ourselves…. except we don’t have to look hard. That is what abides inside each one of us. It means establishing a state of life in which we are never defeated by trials; trials will serve to make us stronger and more resilient, and where just being alive is a source of great joy. This persists no matter what we might be lacking, or what might happen around us and this is unavoidable. Happiness does NOT mean a life free of stress and adversity. A deep sense of joy is something that can only exist in the innermost reaches of our life, and which cannot be destroyed by any external forces. No one can take away our inner joy and happiness. It is eternal and inexhaustible. So, from today going forward know that inside each of us we have a very deep well of happiness and joy that will never run dry and can never be taken away. I love you all and I am sending you all pink huggz filled with happiness and joy.

Sarah-Pink Welch ©2013

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Lesson #72 Being Kind


KindnessFightingABattle1Be kind to others always. Love those that love you. Live in the moment.
Life is shorter than you think. Don’t be mean to others ever. Forgive those who need forgiving and move on. Hug your children no matter how old they are. Things can always be worse. Be grateful for all you have. Don’t talk about a problem…find a solution, get happy and stay that way. And please don’t ask why…there is never a good answer and the answer never changes anything.
I love you all and I am sending you each a gentle pink hug. Love & Light

Sarah-Pink Welch ©2013

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Lesson #71 Forgiveness Is Freedom


All morning I was thinking about forgiveness. That may sound strange but I had been thinking of the person who sells drugs to my kidlets and what I’d like to do if I could get him by himself. Not a happy thought. And I heard “forgive” start echoing in my head. So I am so big on encouraging others folks to forgive I better apply it to myself. Here are the things I do know for sure about it.
Forgiveness isn’t the same as reconciliation. Reconciliation is two people coming together in mutual respect. Reconciliation requires both parties working together. Forgiveness on the other hand is something that is entirely up to you. The person you forgive may be deceased or no longer part of your life, but once you forgive them it’s finished and you move forward.
Forgiveness is not forgetting. “Forgive and forget” always seem to be said together. The process of forgiving involves acknowledging to yourself the wrong that was done to you, reflecting on it, and deciding how you want to think about it. Focusing on forgetting a wrong might lead to denying or suppressing feelings about it, which is not the same as forgiveness. Forgiveness has taken place when you can remember the wrong that was done without feeling resentment or a desire to pursue revenge. Sometimes, after we get to this point, we may forget about some of the wrongs people have done to us. But we don’t have to forget in order to forgive.
Forgiveness is not condoning or excusing. Forgiveness doesn’t minimize, justify, or excuse the wrong that was done. Forgiveness also doesn’t mean denying the harm and the feelings that the injustice produced. And forgiveness does not mean putting yourself in a position to be harmed again. You can forgive someone and still take healthy steps to protect yourself, including choosing to totally detach from the person/persons.
Forgiveness is not justice. It is certainly easier to forgive someone who sincerely apologizes and makes amends. But, justice….which may include acknowledgment of the wrong, apologies, punishment, restitution, or compensation….is separate from forgiveness and may never happen.
Forgiveness is a powerful choice you can make when it’s right for you that can lead to greater well-being and better relationships with other people.
Forgiveness is freedom for you/me and as hard as it is, I am choosing to forgive.
I love you all so very much. I am sending you pink, puffy cloud huggz.  

Sarah-Pink Welch ©2013

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Lesson #70 Boundaries


This is all about personal boundaries. We are not actually born with healthy boundaries. Boundaries are both physical and emotional. Boundaries or the lack of them is learned. In a healthy growing up environment we either learn to set healthy personal boundaries in order to maintain a positive self-concept, or self-image. It is our way of communicating to others that we have self-respect, self-worth, and will not allow others to define us. If, when growing up we were not respected, or did not see the adults in our lives’ respecting each other or other people we will tend to have low self-esteem, and a negative self image. We will also lack the skill and knowledge to honor and respect the boundaries of other people.
Without healthy boundaries, we tend to have lives’ full of drama, chaos, and it would not be possible to enjoy any relationship without boundaries.
Think about how you feel when you’re around someone who drains you and upsets you, someone with whom you feel you lose yourself. How does this feel in your body? How does it feel in your mind? How does the presence of this person affect you? Make a list of these things.
This may sound crazy, but pretend you are a car. Now look at your list of feelings and sensations you’ve made, and imagine that your body is that car, with a dashboard full of warning lights.
You’ve just identified what I like to call the “check engine light” for your personal boundary system. It’s a security system warning that your personal energy field has been breached, and you’re letting in stuff that isn’t yours.
This is really super important. When our boundaries are weak, unguarded, or unclear, we let in all sorts of stuff that isn’t actually our stuff, and we give away our own personal energy unconsciously. We give away our power.
That means you’re dealing with a breach of your energetic security system and a huge leak of your own personal energy. You’re looking at warning signs indicating that some work needs to be done, some boundaries need to be shored up.
Now here are more crazy sounding things. Grounding yourself is exactly the way a tree sinks its roots to stay secure in a storm. It’s the first tool in creating healthy boundaries—nurturing a connection with ourselves.
Our root system is both our anchor and our boundary system. It keeps us from being blown about in other people’s winds. It gives us a way to focus and still ourselves to connect with our heart and our intuition. That’s what keeps us steady and connected and focused.
There are as many ways to get grounded as there are people. I like to take five minutes to actually imagine my root system connecting me into the earth, like a giant oak tree. Here are some other ideas that work for us.
Meditating
Saying a prayer, affirmation, or mantra in the shower in the morning
Repeating affirmations in your head as you walk to work or school or drive.
You are not a doormat, you don’t have “walk on me”, “sure go ahead and use me” written on you anywhere. You are allowed to say NO without feeling guilty or less loving.
Be aware of your boundaries so they do not become too rigid literally shutting out everyone in your lives’. You will appear aloof and distant, and will not talk about your feelings or show your emotions. You may exhibit extreme self-sufficiency, and will not ask for help. You will not allow anyone to get physically or emotionally close to you. It is as if you live in a house surrounded by an immense fence with no gates, and a sign saying: No one is allowed in. Check your imaginary fence and make sure it is sturdy and that your wonderful gate swings both ways.
The more you practice your boundaries, the sooner people will see that you are a person who deserves respect because you respect others and their space. Learning to set healthy boundaries takes time. It is a process. You will set boundaries when you are ready. It’s your growth in your own time frame, not what someone else tells you.
**We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.**
I love you all and I am sending you gentle, pink, huggz.

Sarah-Pink Welch ©2013

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