Many people live their lives’ waiting for the other shoe to drop. I happen to be one of them. It’s not the best way or the happiest way to live, but it is all I have ever known. I can be sitting quietly and BAM, I get blindsided by some unhappy occurrence. I don’t spend time obsessing over things, because in life….stuff just happens. I just have a small place in the back of my brain that holds a shoe and eventually it drops. I don’t believe in curses, coincidences, or accidents. Things happen for a reason. Sometimes, along my journey I see why, but most of the time I have no idea.
That’s how chronic illness is….or being homeless….or being an addict….or not having a job, and on and on.
Now, I have worked on a solution for this waiting business. It involves getting out of my head and getting out of the way and reaching out to help someone else. When I am helping I am not wondering about the shoe. It fades away into some far away place that all shoes go to. Maybe doing the same thing would help you. There’s nothing to lose really. If reaching out passed yourself doesn’t take away that “waiting” feeling, I doubt much else will.
The other day, as I said before, I was minding my own business and one of my doctors called. “We found the cancer.” You see, it had miraculously disappeared. Every single tumor had vanished. The only problem was that my blood work showed that I still had cancer. Well…it was playing hide and seek and I refused to play. No seeking on my part. Now it has been found and on Monday February 20th I begin chemotherapy again. I have had it so often I stopped counting. Irregardless, the shoe dropped and I didn’t die. As a matter of fact I feel better now because it has fallen and I’m no longer waiting for anything to fall.
So, if you tend to be like me, take some time and figure out how to switch out the “waiting” to doing instead!