Tag Archive | children

Lesson #30 We Must Do Something!


Yesterday as I was listening to the radio they announced that singer Whitney Houston had died.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know how.  Sitting here, I know her death will be drug related.  Please know that when I use the words “drug” or “substance” that I am including alcohol.  After all….alcohol is a drug.

Last week, I watched a 10 year old, homeless, heroin addict’s casket be lowered into the ground.  All senseless and sad.  How much more is America and the world for that matter going to be okay with this insanity?  People have died, people are dying.  Mothers and fathers don’t sleep because their child is out there somewhere, doing whatever it takes to get what they need to feel nothing again.  Partners are calling friends and family in search of their partner, who is out there somewhere, doing everything they can do to get what they need because they are so stressed out that being high is the only way they can cope with things.

Men and women are spending every cent they can get their hands on, feeding slot machines, lottery tickets, or card games in hope of hitting it big.  Sometimes they do hit it big, but they can’t walk away and before you know it, they are broke.  There is no food in their homes, the bills haven’t been paid, their children need to see the doctor, but the money is now in the pockets of some greedy idiot who could care less.

How many more lives, families, cities have to die before someone steps up and says NO MORE?  One life lost, one family broken up is enough for me.

Even cigarettes.  We all know that they are highly addictive.  The surgeon general of the U.S. puts nice warnings on the sides of each pack.  So they know already that is something that will destroy your health and eventually will have something to do with your death.  But, like alcohol…you can get your hands on them.

I am allowing myself a little time to be sad, to be angry, to be tired of it.  But, I am scrambling through my brain to come up with something that will end all the craziness.  Why is it that a 10 year old or myself know where to find the dealers and the powers that be don’t?  See, I consider drug dealers to be serial killers.  They are right up there with pedophiles, rapists, and physical/emotional abusers. I am not sorry to say that if I had my way, I would find them all leave them at Alcatraz, and I would fill the surrounding waters with Piranha’s…and once a week I would have a helicopter drop food there.  No bars, no guards, no visitors, no anything.

Why, why, why?  It just keeps getting worse and I know there are good folks doing what they can to help those of us who are addicted to get and stay well.  The odds however and not in their favor.  Let’s say someone has an addiction and do need what can be found in rehab centers.  Well, once you find a good rehab, it’s all about the insurance and money it takes to be there.  Most people have the wrong insurance or no insurance or no money.  That too is insanity.  If the government allows this stuff….the drugs, the gambling, the cigarettes to exist, then shouldn’t they be responsible for the aftermath that follows?  Shouldn’t it cost nothing to get well again?

Did you know, that currently 9 million Americans struggle with prescription medicine addiction?  Doctors just hand it out like candy. 50% of all car accidents are alcohol related.  Overall, about one third of the population has a drug addiction problem of one kind or another, whether legal or illegal.  And, we allow it…maybe not because we don’t care, but because our hands are tied.

I think, if every American, could start turning in the names of any dealers they have heard of, the police would have to start making arrests.  If you are not alcoholic….stop buying alcohol.   Drink tea instead.  Write the judges, write the senators, the congressmen, the governors, your city mayor and council people.  Don’t stop writing them.  Enough is enough.

Or maybe,we can just sit back and ignore it.  I mean if it hasn’t affected you why care?  I know something you don’t.  Eventually, it affects everyone.

Take a stand and do something.

Sarah© 2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

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If You Really Knew Me…….


You would know I am more than pink hair, tattoos, piercings and the like.  If you really knew me you would not assume anything based on my appearance.  If you really knew me, you would know that I am not brave and strong but I struggle to appear that way.  I am fearful more times than not.  If you really knew me you would know that I am not a “party” creature or fond of groups of people.  I like being alone, but not lonely.  If you really knew me you would know that I miss my dad so very much it hurts; you would know that my mom, my brother and one of my children do not even like me.  This makes me sad, but there is nothing I can do to change that.  If you really knew me you would know that I have less than 5 friends…people who truly know me inside and out.  If you really knew me you would know that life has been difficult for me.  You would know I was molested for several years and blamed myself, I was abused and blamed myself, and I was raped twice and blame myself.  If you really knew me you would know that I grew up hearing….”you aren’t good enough”, “get out of the way”, “why did you live”, “why can’t you be like so and so “, “you ruined my life.”  If you really knew me, you would know that I wear my feelings on the outside and get hurt pretty often.  If you really knew me, you would know that if I love someone, I love them with all that I have and would do anything to help them.  You would know that the word LOVE is important to me and I see it as a verb.  If you really knew me you would know that I have cancer and AIDS but I don’t let them define me.  They are just another stumbling block that I keep flipping over to make a stepping stone going forward.  If you really knew me you would know that I am not impressed by money, cars, clothing, name droppers, fancy anything.  If you really knew me you would know that I envy families that are close knit and care about each other.  That is probably what I have always missed in my life the most.  If you really knew me you would know that the pink hair happened because of the cancer and my need to make a statement about finding a cure.  The tattoos and piercing and my clothing are all meant to keep people at a distance so that they won’t see how shy I really am.  If you really knew me you would know that I have always wanted to make a difference, for the better, in someone’s life.  You would know that if something is wrong, I will speak up and try to fix it or find someone who will.  If you really knew me you would know that I believe drug dealers and child molesters are the same as someone who kills just because they can.  I have no use for them and they are ruining lives every day all around the world.  If you really knew me you would know I love to read, write, listen to music, play in the snow, go fishing and camping, make things, bake, sew, dream, and take naps.  If you really knew me you would know that my husband is a truly wonderful man and I wish I had met him a long time ago.  If you really knew me  you would know that I do matter, I am worthy, I am intelligent, I am somewhat pretty, and I am finally content.  If you really knew me you would know I love words, board games, popcorn, flowers, my dog Pink, my grandchildren I have never met and the grandson I don’t see very often.  If you really knew me you would know I have begun saying to a few people….”you are NOT allowed to be mean to me anymore.”  If you really knew me you would know I lose games on purpose so people won’t know I am smart.  I ask questions I already know the answer to.  You would know that I “dumb down” 95% of the time so people won’t be intimidated by me.  If you really knew me you would know that it takes every ounce of courage I have to speak to groups of “at risk” kids or adults about drugs, alcohol, abuse, and leading a happy life and knowing they matter.  If you really knew me you would know I do that with the hope that it will help just one person.  If you really knew me you would know I go through my day in prayer for others.  I you really knew me you would know that I like things simple, free of chaos and drama, peace filled, hope filled, and joy filled.  If you really knew me you would know I would be very happy living in the country, in a small cozy house with a fireplace, with a huge garden, a few chickens and goats, maybe even a cow.  I would not mind not having a computer, a phone, and all this crazy electronic jazz.  If you really knew me…………

Sarah-Pink Welch © 2012

Facebook:  Sarah-Pink’s Promise

Lesson #3 The 5 D’s of Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa!


During my life I have come to know there are 5 D’s that can really make a mess of the  holiday or any other special time.  The first is DISTANCE!  So many families no longer live in the same city or even the same state or country.  The absence of a family member or friends can be hard, but there are ways to make all of that better.  The phone doesn’t cure everything but it sure helps.  Call your absent friends and family members, it will help.  You can also do something very cool and create your own family.  Blood is not the only thing that connects people.  Reach out to people you have similar interests with, or who are alone themselves.  Start some new traditions with your adopted family.  It can be magical and ease the sadness you might feel.  The second D is DEBT!  It’s a wee bit late to do anything about how much you spent on shopping this year.  But, if you make an intention to do things simpler next year, you and your bank account will feel much better.  Make an intention to be creative and make some gifts and spend way less.  You don’t even have to be creative to do it.  Make a list of ideas and you will be surprised how happy people will be with the simplest gifts.  Once I bought lots of quart size mason jars.  I got some scrap fabric and some batting for quilts, super glue, and construction paper.  I cut the fabric a little bit bigger than the lid, took some batting and glued the batting to the inner seal.  I cover the batting with the fabric and it looked a bit like a pin cushion but it was nice.  I cut out hundreds of hearts from all the different colored pages of construction paper.  You could cut out stars, whatever you like, but I chose hearts.  On each heart I wrote something, folded them in half and put them in the jars.  Here are just a few things I wrote.  “You are amazing”, “treat yourself to a good old fashioned shave at the barber shop”, “this entitles you to one big hug”, “Good for one car wash from me”.  I did hundreds of them.  Then I took a piece of paper, cut out a larger heart and wrote…”A heart a day keeps the blues away.”  I punched a hole in that heart and attached twine to it and wrapped it around the lid.  Those were the gifts I gave people.  Keep things simple.  I have never known anyone to keel over if they din’t max out their credit cards.  The third D is DEATH.  Most of us have lost someone.  The holidays really make that loss feel even harder to bear.  When I lost my dad to cancer I thought my life might end.  It didn’t end and I went on with wonderful memories of him in my heart and mind.  I have lost many people in my life so I have a special journal for them.  I write their names and start listing all the cool, wonderful, loving things about them and times we spent together.  When a special occasion comes or if an ordinary day happens and I find myself falling into sadness, I get that journal out and I read about them and all we shared together.  I will never forget them or stop loving them, but time has a magical way of bringing healing to us, if we let it.  And those we have lost would not want us to be sad.  The fourth D is DIVORCE.  If you knew my life story, you would find what I am about to write totally crazy.  I do not like divorce.  I really think it is way to easy to leave a marriage than it is to stay and put in the effort and love it takes to make it wonderful.  Now if there is abuse of any kind in a marriage, get out as fast as you can.  Divorce is even worse when children are involved.  Set an intention to be kind to your former partner.  Don’t let the children get all tangled up in the mess of it all.  When the holidays arrive, be fair.  It is hard to be away from your children, but when you are with them make that time count.  It’s not about the quantity, it’s all about the quality.  Talk  or write with/to  your former partner and decide together what gifts you will get the children.  Don’t try to buy your children’s love, it does not work and in the long run it will backfire on you.  Make the holidays as special for them as you can, because the holidays are for them after all.  The last D is DRAMA.  Avoid it at all costs by any means necessary.  It is not healthy, it’s not happy, and no one needs it.  So let’s say you are supposed to go somewhere for the holidays that makes you feel ill just thinking about it.  Make an intention and don’t go.  Share with whomever you need to that going there makes you feel uncomfortable and you will do something else.  If you are fighting with a family member and you are supposed to be together during a holiday make an intention to forgive before the holiday gets here.  If that is not possible, think about visiting the family when that person or persons aren’t around.  There is no reason to dread the holidays.  Don’t worry how clean your house is, or how fancy you have decorated things, or how big your tree is.  Relax and breathe.  Make things simple.  Simple is good, healthy, and healing.  Play games, sing songs, share your funniest holiday stories with each other.  Please remember, it is NOT about us at all.

Love & Peace Always

Sarah© 2011

hopeslifecoaching.com