Tag Archive | mom

Lesson #29 The Balancing Act


This could be a very tricky thing to do….balancing your life.  So what is balance?  The dictionary states that balance is “the equal distribution” of things.  Okay, I paraphrased….but I think you get what I’m saying.

Let’s look at typical human beans (this is how I spell us).   Okay, Jane and Joe both have a job, they have an apartment, Jane belongs to 3 clubs, Joe….bowls twice a week. On Sunday they attend church and have dinner with one or the other’s families.  They take turns.  Now, Jane only likes attending 2 meetings of the 3 clubs she belongs to, but she won’t give up the third because all the uber rich and amazing ladies are in that club.  Joe likes to bowl, but once a week is more than plenty for him.  He bowls twice a week because his boss is on the second team with him and he wants to appear like a “good company” man.  Jane and Joe both like the idea of church but, they attend one that is…wait for it……..uber cool.  All the supposedly rich and cool folks go there and Joe and Jane want to be uber everything.  Now just 2 miles away from their home is a church they have attended 3 times.  It is far from uber…..except in the God department.  The pastor is wonderful and offers sermons that Joe and Jane actually talked about the entire week after and they actually did things that the pastor suggested to do and they loved it.  They find going to dinner at each others families homes is nice, but doing it every single Sunday has become a bother.  They love their families, but they would really like to be at home on Sunday just to relax, talk, take a nap, and get ready for the week.  They have what seems like a balanced life right?  Well they don’t.

Jane sees her close friends very seldom, she doesn’t have time to go to Yoga (which she absolutely loves), she and Joe don’t take walks or bike rides anymore and  that causes her to feel sad.  Jane loves to cook, but with her job, the meetings, bowling, laundry, cleaning, returning phone calls and answering emails, there is NO time for any of that.  They have take-out almost every night for dinner.  Jane and Joe have unequaled themselves right out of life.  Can you imagine if they had a child?

So let’s sit down with Joe and Jane and see what we can do to help them find balance.  They are both willing and more than open to not being “uber”.  So, that means Jane could give up that club she doesn’t really care for.  Joe likes his job, but he won’t get fired if he stops bowling with his boss.  That frees up another night.  They decide that if they work together, they can clean the apartment, do the laundry all at once and be done with it.  They realize it can even be fun and gives them time to talk with each other.  As they looked at their schedules they decide they will each call their parents and let them know that they will only be having dinner with them once a month.  Guess what happened when they did that?  Both their mothers thanked them, because they were long past tired of cooking big meals every other Sunday.

Here is the life of Jane and Joe now.  Jane is able to cook and bake 4 – 5 times a week.  She got back into her Yoga class and sees her close friends afterward at a cafe nearby.  Joe cleaned up their bikes and bought new wheels and they ride together once a week.  Weather permitting they take a walk nearly every night.  Joe only bowls one evening a week now, so in place of bowling the other evening he either reads, watches television with Jane, or messes around with things that need to be fixed in their apartment.  He loves fixing things.  They have now even switched churches.  Instead of driving 17 miles one way to the “uber” church, they drive 2 miles to the church where they receive wonderful, uplifting and encouraging things to ponder and grow with.

Everyone needs the following to have a balanced life….if you work you work (and if you are a stay at home mom/dad you are working), then you need to have  “Me Time.”  This is time to just be.  You need “Social Time”.  This is when you meet with a friend or two and do whatever you decide to do.  You need to schedule time for taking care of the place where you live and your clothing as well as time to pay bills, return calls and answer mail.

The one thing that will totally mess you up is giving up your “Me Time.”  If you aren’t okay, I sadly promise you that everything around you will be messed up including your own health.

Balance.

Sarah©2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

 

 

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If You Really Knew Me…….


You would know I am more than pink hair, tattoos, piercings and the like.  If you really knew me you would not assume anything based on my appearance.  If you really knew me, you would know that I am not brave and strong but I struggle to appear that way.  I am fearful more times than not.  If you really knew me you would know that I am not a “party” creature or fond of groups of people.  I like being alone, but not lonely.  If you really knew me you would know that I miss my dad so very much it hurts; you would know that my mom, my brother and one of my children do not even like me.  This makes me sad, but there is nothing I can do to change that.  If you really knew me you would know that I have less than 5 friends…people who truly know me inside and out.  If you really knew me you would know that life has been difficult for me.  You would know I was molested for several years and blamed myself, I was abused and blamed myself, and I was raped twice and blame myself.  If you really knew me you would know that I grew up hearing….”you aren’t good enough”, “get out of the way”, “why did you live”, “why can’t you be like so and so “, “you ruined my life.”  If you really knew me, you would know that I wear my feelings on the outside and get hurt pretty often.  If you really knew me, you would know that if I love someone, I love them with all that I have and would do anything to help them.  You would know that the word LOVE is important to me and I see it as a verb.  If you really knew me you would know that I have cancer and AIDS but I don’t let them define me.  They are just another stumbling block that I keep flipping over to make a stepping stone going forward.  If you really knew me you would know that I am not impressed by money, cars, clothing, name droppers, fancy anything.  If you really knew me you would know that I envy families that are close knit and care about each other.  That is probably what I have always missed in my life the most.  If you really knew me you would know that the pink hair happened because of the cancer and my need to make a statement about finding a cure.  The tattoos and piercing and my clothing are all meant to keep people at a distance so that they won’t see how shy I really am.  If you really knew me you would know that I have always wanted to make a difference, for the better, in someone’s life.  You would know that if something is wrong, I will speak up and try to fix it or find someone who will.  If you really knew me you would know that I believe drug dealers and child molesters are the same as someone who kills just because they can.  I have no use for them and they are ruining lives every day all around the world.  If you really knew me you would know I love to read, write, listen to music, play in the snow, go fishing and camping, make things, bake, sew, dream, and take naps.  If you really knew me you would know that my husband is a truly wonderful man and I wish I had met him a long time ago.  If you really knew me  you would know that I do matter, I am worthy, I am intelligent, I am somewhat pretty, and I am finally content.  If you really knew me you would know I love words, board games, popcorn, flowers, my dog Pink, my grandchildren I have never met and the grandson I don’t see very often.  If you really knew me you would know I have begun saying to a few people….”you are NOT allowed to be mean to me anymore.”  If you really knew me you would know I lose games on purpose so people won’t know I am smart.  I ask questions I already know the answer to.  You would know that I “dumb down” 95% of the time so people won’t be intimidated by me.  If you really knew me you would know that it takes every ounce of courage I have to speak to groups of “at risk” kids or adults about drugs, alcohol, abuse, and leading a happy life and knowing they matter.  If you really knew me you would know I do that with the hope that it will help just one person.  If you really knew me you would know I go through my day in prayer for others.  I you really knew me you would know that I like things simple, free of chaos and drama, peace filled, hope filled, and joy filled.  If you really knew me you would know I would be very happy living in the country, in a small cozy house with a fireplace, with a huge garden, a few chickens and goats, maybe even a cow.  I would not mind not having a computer, a phone, and all this crazy electronic jazz.  If you really knew me…………

Sarah-Pink Welch © 2012

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