Tag Archive | friends

Lesson #40 Internet Connections


My intention was never to become a computer user.  They seemed to be a whole lot of added busy work to what I was already doing.  One of the things I am is a writer.  I love writing in my journals and working on articles and books, using my typewriter.  To this day, I must hand write everything first and then type them up at the computer.  It’s sounds odd…but I do my best writing and thinking when I can feel the paper with my hands and stick the pen in my mouth or click the clicker a hundred times, until I find just the right word I am looking for.

Once the computer was in my house I looked at it like an uninvited guest.  I would avoid it.  I would walk passed it and turn my head so I wouldn’t see it.  I even put a small quilt over it and pretended it was something else.  Someone finally said, you know you can play solitaire on that thing and you can play other games against the computer.  Hmmm….play against the computer…beat the computer…prove it was just a box of wires and chips and things that were useless compared to the human mind.  Sounded like a wonderful thing to do.  Beat the blasted computer!!!!

Well, that was the end of my stand off.  I started playing against good old Mr. AI and lost.  I lost not once, but 5 times in a row.  I fluctuated between confusion and solutions to beating him.  Yes, the computer became a man…Mr. Artificial Intelligence, my nemesis.  My nemesis led me to a new world…the Internet.

Once I was on the Internet, I got involved in a couple of really nice groups.  I liked the people…or rather, I liked the way they presented themselves to be.  I hope never to know who they really were.  At the time, they became friends who lived in other states and countries, and it was a refreshing way to end my day.  My boys would be in bed; on went the computer, and I was off to travel the super highway on a grand adventure.

Through the years since I was introduced to the Internet, I have met many amazing people online.  I have met writers, artists, parents of children with addiction issues, people dealing with chronic illnesses, people who think outside the box and color outside the lines.  I am in awe at their kindness, their willingness to think about and pray for a stranger.  I have been blessed to have met many of my online friends in person and our coming together did not disappoint.  It was joy filled and I carry those great memories in my heart and mind each day.  On the other hand, there is a dark side to the Internet.  People can be whoever they choose to be.  They don’t have to be honest…at least by Internet standards, and they can often be very mean.  Others never ever seem to have even one good and happy day.  They thrive in their misery and sadly that misery has become who they are.

When I became part of this new Internet world I set and intention to be a positive seed planter, an encourager, and to remain present and available to people who may need someone to talk with.  I am an open book on the Internet.  My life has no secrets, and some of the chapters are quite sad but, they are nothing compared to the potential for me to touch at least one life and add some happiness or cause someone to look at things differently.  It is always my prayer that each day, when I spend my allotted amount of time (yes I set a specific amount of time) on the Internet, that I will meet someone who just needs someone to listen, or to help someone smile.  Everyday I receive many smile moments to add to my “smile bank” from people I may never meet, who know more about who I am than my own biological family.

Thank you Internet family for allowing me into your lives.  🙂

Sarah-Pink Welch ©2012

Facebook:  Sarah-Pink’s Promise

Advertisements

Lesson #33 ***Walking In Gratitude***


Since I have gotten back into connecting more with people than in the last few years, I have been getting these questions….”What in the world are you so grateful for?”  “Why are you so happy?”  Maybe I don’t think about the questions much, because 99% of the time they are asking because I deal with health issues and a pretty odd family.

For as long as I can remember, I have walked in gratitude.  I really don’t know any other way to be.  I have other choices of course….I could stay in bed, I could be angry, I could be so sad I never laugh, I could even end it all.  I don’t even think anyone would be angry about that.  Life has not been a bed of roses, but I love meandering my way through the thorns without getting pricked, and I pick tons of pink roses along the journey.

I have never asked, “why me,” in fact I say “why not me?”  I am just like any other human; differing in the way I think, look, the way I live, the stuff that makes us all different.  I am a human with health issues.  So what.  I don’t know how to give in or quit fighting for my life.  I have a family that is so dysfunctional, I don’t talk with them.  So what.  I have created my own family made of people that I have been blessed to meet and love.  I am human and have my times of sorrow, when I think of those I miss so much.  There is nothing more I choose to do about that.  Things are what they are and being sad is not fun and not going to change anything, so I do what I need to do to get out of the sadness.  Anyone can do that…it isn’t magic.  It’s changing the way you think and your life will follow.  Happy thoughts–happy life.  Not perfect, but happy.

I walk in gratitude.  I live in gratitude. I breathe in gratitude.  I am content in gratitude.  There are so many events, people, and things I am grateful for, I couldn’t possibly list them all.

I am grateful I live in peace.  I am grateful for the people in my life.  I am grateful for each day I am alive.  I live inside a house…not outside.  There is food to eat if I choose to eat.  There is music to listen to and music to create.  There are books to read and learn from.  I have love in my life.  I like who and what I am.  I have friends I love.  My husband is my best friend.

My body may not cooperate all the time, but I am still standing.  I am grateful to keep moving forward.

I pay attention to other people; I listen and watch them.  They “seem” to have it all.  “Seem” is the operative word here.  They have the cars, the big houses, the money, the “stuff.”  But, if I could change places with them, I wouldn’t.  Often, I see them looking miserable…they really don’t have it all.  They are lacking gratitude, contentment, authentic joy…..they have to keep accumulating their stuff and don’t include gratitude in any of it.  This doesn’t apply to all people, but the majority of those that “have” just have to keep “having.”

My body and my “blood” family may be on the dysfunction junction end of things, but at least I know who I am, what I am capable of creating, how to rest in gratitude and smile when it rains.  And I will continue to move forward with my spirit overflowing with happiness, joy, and gratitude!

Sarah©2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

The Lemonade Stand on Facebook

Lesson #30 We Must Do Something!


Yesterday as I was listening to the radio they announced that singer Whitney Houston had died.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know how.  Sitting here, I know her death will be drug related.  Please know that when I use the words “drug” or “substance” that I am including alcohol.  After all….alcohol is a drug.

Last week, I watched a 10 year old, homeless, heroin addict’s casket be lowered into the ground.  All senseless and sad.  How much more is America and the world for that matter going to be okay with this insanity?  People have died, people are dying.  Mothers and fathers don’t sleep because their child is out there somewhere, doing whatever it takes to get what they need to feel nothing again.  Partners are calling friends and family in search of their partner, who is out there somewhere, doing everything they can do to get what they need because they are so stressed out that being high is the only way they can cope with things.

Men and women are spending every cent they can get their hands on, feeding slot machines, lottery tickets, or card games in hope of hitting it big.  Sometimes they do hit it big, but they can’t walk away and before you know it, they are broke.  There is no food in their homes, the bills haven’t been paid, their children need to see the doctor, but the money is now in the pockets of some greedy idiot who could care less.

How many more lives, families, cities have to die before someone steps up and says NO MORE?  One life lost, one family broken up is enough for me.

Even cigarettes.  We all know that they are highly addictive.  The surgeon general of the U.S. puts nice warnings on the sides of each pack.  So they know already that is something that will destroy your health and eventually will have something to do with your death.  But, like alcohol…you can get your hands on them.

I am allowing myself a little time to be sad, to be angry, to be tired of it.  But, I am scrambling through my brain to come up with something that will end all the craziness.  Why is it that a 10 year old or myself know where to find the dealers and the powers that be don’t?  See, I consider drug dealers to be serial killers.  They are right up there with pedophiles, rapists, and physical/emotional abusers. I am not sorry to say that if I had my way, I would find them all leave them at Alcatraz, and I would fill the surrounding waters with Piranha’s…and once a week I would have a helicopter drop food there.  No bars, no guards, no visitors, no anything.

Why, why, why?  It just keeps getting worse and I know there are good folks doing what they can to help those of us who are addicted to get and stay well.  The odds however and not in their favor.  Let’s say someone has an addiction and do need what can be found in rehab centers.  Well, once you find a good rehab, it’s all about the insurance and money it takes to be there.  Most people have the wrong insurance or no insurance or no money.  That too is insanity.  If the government allows this stuff….the drugs, the gambling, the cigarettes to exist, then shouldn’t they be responsible for the aftermath that follows?  Shouldn’t it cost nothing to get well again?

Did you know, that currently 9 million Americans struggle with prescription medicine addiction?  Doctors just hand it out like candy. 50% of all car accidents are alcohol related.  Overall, about one third of the population has a drug addiction problem of one kind or another, whether legal or illegal.  And, we allow it…maybe not because we don’t care, but because our hands are tied.

I think, if every American, could start turning in the names of any dealers they have heard of, the police would have to start making arrests.  If you are not alcoholic….stop buying alcohol.   Drink tea instead.  Write the judges, write the senators, the congressmen, the governors, your city mayor and council people.  Don’t stop writing them.  Enough is enough.

Or maybe,we can just sit back and ignore it.  I mean if it hasn’t affected you why care?  I know something you don’t.  Eventually, it affects everyone.

Take a stand and do something.

Sarah© 2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

Lesson #29 The Balancing Act


This could be a very tricky thing to do….balancing your life.  So what is balance?  The dictionary states that balance is “the equal distribution” of things.  Okay, I paraphrased….but I think you get what I’m saying.

Let’s look at typical human beans (this is how I spell us).   Okay, Jane and Joe both have a job, they have an apartment, Jane belongs to 3 clubs, Joe….bowls twice a week. On Sunday they attend church and have dinner with one or the other’s families.  They take turns.  Now, Jane only likes attending 2 meetings of the 3 clubs she belongs to, but she won’t give up the third because all the uber rich and amazing ladies are in that club.  Joe likes to bowl, but once a week is more than plenty for him.  He bowls twice a week because his boss is on the second team with him and he wants to appear like a “good company” man.  Jane and Joe both like the idea of church but, they attend one that is…wait for it……..uber cool.  All the supposedly rich and cool folks go there and Joe and Jane want to be uber everything.  Now just 2 miles away from their home is a church they have attended 3 times.  It is far from uber…..except in the God department.  The pastor is wonderful and offers sermons that Joe and Jane actually talked about the entire week after and they actually did things that the pastor suggested to do and they loved it.  They find going to dinner at each others families homes is nice, but doing it every single Sunday has become a bother.  They love their families, but they would really like to be at home on Sunday just to relax, talk, take a nap, and get ready for the week.  They have what seems like a balanced life right?  Well they don’t.

Jane sees her close friends very seldom, she doesn’t have time to go to Yoga (which she absolutely loves), she and Joe don’t take walks or bike rides anymore and  that causes her to feel sad.  Jane loves to cook, but with her job, the meetings, bowling, laundry, cleaning, returning phone calls and answering emails, there is NO time for any of that.  They have take-out almost every night for dinner.  Jane and Joe have unequaled themselves right out of life.  Can you imagine if they had a child?

So let’s sit down with Joe and Jane and see what we can do to help them find balance.  They are both willing and more than open to not being “uber”.  So, that means Jane could give up that club she doesn’t really care for.  Joe likes his job, but he won’t get fired if he stops bowling with his boss.  That frees up another night.  They decide that if they work together, they can clean the apartment, do the laundry all at once and be done with it.  They realize it can even be fun and gives them time to talk with each other.  As they looked at their schedules they decide they will each call their parents and let them know that they will only be having dinner with them once a month.  Guess what happened when they did that?  Both their mothers thanked them, because they were long past tired of cooking big meals every other Sunday.

Here is the life of Jane and Joe now.  Jane is able to cook and bake 4 – 5 times a week.  She got back into her Yoga class and sees her close friends afterward at a cafe nearby.  Joe cleaned up their bikes and bought new wheels and they ride together once a week.  Weather permitting they take a walk nearly every night.  Joe only bowls one evening a week now, so in place of bowling the other evening he either reads, watches television with Jane, or messes around with things that need to be fixed in their apartment.  He loves fixing things.  They have now even switched churches.  Instead of driving 17 miles one way to the “uber” church, they drive 2 miles to the church where they receive wonderful, uplifting and encouraging things to ponder and grow with.

Everyone needs the following to have a balanced life….if you work you work (and if you are a stay at home mom/dad you are working), then you need to have  “Me Time.”  This is time to just be.  You need “Social Time”.  This is when you meet with a friend or two and do whatever you decide to do.  You need to schedule time for taking care of the place where you live and your clothing as well as time to pay bills, return calls and answer mail.

The one thing that will totally mess you up is giving up your “Me Time.”  If you aren’t okay, I sadly promise you that everything around you will be messed up including your own health.

Balance.

Sarah©2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

 

 

Lesson #19 My Intentional To-Do List


This is just an example of my to-do list.  It is fairly close to the real thing.  If you have any questions about living with intention, just let me know and I will do all I can to help you.

1.  Wake up totally well rested and so very grateful for the chance to honor a new day.

(How do I know I will be well rested?  The evening before I went to sleep, I made an intention to wake up that way)

2.  Spend some time just being.  Drink some awesome tea and listen to some none chaotic music.

3.  Do my morning prayers and meditation.

4.  Fix and eat healthy foods throughout the day.  (I need to eat 5 times a day)  I do not like to eat.  My intention to cover that is… I Love Food and Eating)

5.  Exercise  (For me exercise means walking, doing some yoga stretches or dancing around my living room for 30 minutes)  Our bodies are like machines…if you don’t use a car for say 6 months I promise it will either not start or the tires will have gone flat.  Most of us take better care of our stuff than ourselves.

6.  Complete my daily to-do list and use any left over time to do extra.  Yes, I have an actual to-do list.  I have found that if I pick one room a day to dust, sweep, and pick up I avoid doing all my cleaning in the same day or days.

7.  Set aside time for my friends and family.  I love to write handwritten notes and cards and send them to people I am thinking about.  I stay in touch with my adult children by simply texting an I love xoxoxox or sending an email.  I call at least once a week.

8.  I do something that I know will cause me to laugh out loud.  When my husband leaves for work he always says either do something that makes you smile or laugh out loud.

9.  Read a book.  I love to read.  I usually read 5-7 books a week and I love taking time to read, especially outside or all cozied up on a cold or rainy day.

10.  Do something for someone else whether I know them or not, or learn something new and interesting or do something positive that increases the joy ratio in my space of the world.

11.  Journal.  I have been journaling since I was 4.  I have three types of journals that I write in each day.  I have a prayer journal where I list prayer requests I receive.  I love it when I look back at my prayer journals and see in RED ink…YES.  This means that the prayer was answered.  My 2nd journal is my gratitude journal.  Each day I write down the things that occurred that I am grateful for.  My last journal is filled with things I thought of, funny sayings I made up, or I add to my Sarahism’s.  These are words I make up for daily use.  Most of my friends know them, but I love making up new ones.  So each and every day I take time to write.

12.  End my day peacefully.  Say my prayers and a big thank you for the chance to be available to anyone who is need.

As I said, this is an example….but it happens to be today’s to-do list.  It is my intention to encourage and inspire you to do something like this.  You  might notice there was no time for drama, chaos, or frenzy and today for example, there was none.

Sweet Dreams and Peace Always

                                                                                                                       Sarah© 2011

                                                                                                              hopeslifecoaching.com

Lesson #3 The 5 D’s of Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa!


During my life I have come to know there are 5 D’s that can really make a mess of the  holiday or any other special time.  The first is DISTANCE!  So many families no longer live in the same city or even the same state or country.  The absence of a family member or friends can be hard, but there are ways to make all of that better.  The phone doesn’t cure everything but it sure helps.  Call your absent friends and family members, it will help.  You can also do something very cool and create your own family.  Blood is not the only thing that connects people.  Reach out to people you have similar interests with, or who are alone themselves.  Start some new traditions with your adopted family.  It can be magical and ease the sadness you might feel.  The second D is DEBT!  It’s a wee bit late to do anything about how much you spent on shopping this year.  But, if you make an intention to do things simpler next year, you and your bank account will feel much better.  Make an intention to be creative and make some gifts and spend way less.  You don’t even have to be creative to do it.  Make a list of ideas and you will be surprised how happy people will be with the simplest gifts.  Once I bought lots of quart size mason jars.  I got some scrap fabric and some batting for quilts, super glue, and construction paper.  I cut the fabric a little bit bigger than the lid, took some batting and glued the batting to the inner seal.  I cover the batting with the fabric and it looked a bit like a pin cushion but it was nice.  I cut out hundreds of hearts from all the different colored pages of construction paper.  You could cut out stars, whatever you like, but I chose hearts.  On each heart I wrote something, folded them in half and put them in the jars.  Here are just a few things I wrote.  “You are amazing”, “treat yourself to a good old fashioned shave at the barber shop”, “this entitles you to one big hug”, “Good for one car wash from me”.  I did hundreds of them.  Then I took a piece of paper, cut out a larger heart and wrote…”A heart a day keeps the blues away.”  I punched a hole in that heart and attached twine to it and wrapped it around the lid.  Those were the gifts I gave people.  Keep things simple.  I have never known anyone to keel over if they din’t max out their credit cards.  The third D is DEATH.  Most of us have lost someone.  The holidays really make that loss feel even harder to bear.  When I lost my dad to cancer I thought my life might end.  It didn’t end and I went on with wonderful memories of him in my heart and mind.  I have lost many people in my life so I have a special journal for them.  I write their names and start listing all the cool, wonderful, loving things about them and times we spent together.  When a special occasion comes or if an ordinary day happens and I find myself falling into sadness, I get that journal out and I read about them and all we shared together.  I will never forget them or stop loving them, but time has a magical way of bringing healing to us, if we let it.  And those we have lost would not want us to be sad.  The fourth D is DIVORCE.  If you knew my life story, you would find what I am about to write totally crazy.  I do not like divorce.  I really think it is way to easy to leave a marriage than it is to stay and put in the effort and love it takes to make it wonderful.  Now if there is abuse of any kind in a marriage, get out as fast as you can.  Divorce is even worse when children are involved.  Set an intention to be kind to your former partner.  Don’t let the children get all tangled up in the mess of it all.  When the holidays arrive, be fair.  It is hard to be away from your children, but when you are with them make that time count.  It’s not about the quantity, it’s all about the quality.  Talk  or write with/to  your former partner and decide together what gifts you will get the children.  Don’t try to buy your children’s love, it does not work and in the long run it will backfire on you.  Make the holidays as special for them as you can, because the holidays are for them after all.  The last D is DRAMA.  Avoid it at all costs by any means necessary.  It is not healthy, it’s not happy, and no one needs it.  So let’s say you are supposed to go somewhere for the holidays that makes you feel ill just thinking about it.  Make an intention and don’t go.  Share with whomever you need to that going there makes you feel uncomfortable and you will do something else.  If you are fighting with a family member and you are supposed to be together during a holiday make an intention to forgive before the holiday gets here.  If that is not possible, think about visiting the family when that person or persons aren’t around.  There is no reason to dread the holidays.  Don’t worry how clean your house is, or how fancy you have decorated things, or how big your tree is.  Relax and breathe.  Make things simple.  Simple is good, healthy, and healing.  Play games, sing songs, share your funniest holiday stories with each other.  Please remember, it is NOT about us at all.

Love & Peace Always

Sarah© 2011

hopeslifecoaching.com

Lesson #8 Normal……..really?….just sayin’!


I have spent time thinking about the word or the concept of “NORMAL”.

I have finally come to my own conclusion about “normal”.  I researched it, read about it, and have realized that I don’t fit the description in any way, shape or form.  I’m not sad about it.  I am happy that I made my own definition for it and I am totally content with it.

Normal is definitely not what I am.  No, I don’t eat worms, or wear hats made of tinfoil, but I am not normal.  The people closest to me really aren’t normal either.  That is where I found my definition…right there in my inner circle.  And it’s going to be the very same place where you will find what normal is for you.

My Definition:  Normal is whatever the majority of people in your life decide it is!!  It’s that easy or that difficult.  I have pink hair, tattoos, piercings, and like baggy clothes.  Now, some of my people have some of those things and we like each other a lot.  Some have none of those things and we remain good friends.

When I step away from my people,  I stand out like a 60 foot statue of Pooh Bear.  People stare, they whisper, they even point at me as if to say, would you look at that!!  How dare she look like that and in public too.  I dare because I can.  If I didn’t believe how I believe, if I didn’t dress as I do, If I didn’t surround myself with like minded people, I would not be me.  I would be someone else.

So, normal is whatever you decide it is.  As long as you are being true to yourself, not hurting or offending anyone, then you are on your own journey of normal.  Enjoy and smile!!!

Sarah-Pink Welch © 2011

Facebook: Sarah-Pink’s Promise