Tag Archive | addiction

Lesson #40 Internet Connections


My intention was never to become a computer user.  They seemed to be a whole lot of added busy work to what I was already doing.  One of the things I am is a writer.  I love writing in my journals and working on articles and books, using my typewriter.  To this day, I must hand write everything first and then type them up at the computer.  It’s sounds odd…but I do my best writing and thinking when I can feel the paper with my hands and stick the pen in my mouth or click the clicker a hundred times, until I find just the right word I am looking for.

Once the computer was in my house I looked at it like an uninvited guest.  I would avoid it.  I would walk passed it and turn my head so I wouldn’t see it.  I even put a small quilt over it and pretended it was something else.  Someone finally said, you know you can play solitaire on that thing and you can play other games against the computer.  Hmmm….play against the computer…beat the computer…prove it was just a box of wires and chips and things that were useless compared to the human mind.  Sounded like a wonderful thing to do.  Beat the blasted computer!!!!

Well, that was the end of my stand off.  I started playing against good old Mr. AI and lost.  I lost not once, but 5 times in a row.  I fluctuated between confusion and solutions to beating him.  Yes, the computer became a man…Mr. Artificial Intelligence, my nemesis.  My nemesis led me to a new world…the Internet.

Once I was on the Internet, I got involved in a couple of really nice groups.  I liked the people…or rather, I liked the way they presented themselves to be.  I hope never to know who they really were.  At the time, they became friends who lived in other states and countries, and it was a refreshing way to end my day.  My boys would be in bed; on went the computer, and I was off to travel the super highway on a grand adventure.

Through the years since I was introduced to the Internet, I have met many amazing people online.  I have met writers, artists, parents of children with addiction issues, people dealing with chronic illnesses, people who think outside the box and color outside the lines.  I am in awe at their kindness, their willingness to think about and pray for a stranger.  I have been blessed to have met many of my online friends in person and our coming together did not disappoint.  It was joy filled and I carry those great memories in my heart and mind each day.  On the other hand, there is a dark side to the Internet.  People can be whoever they choose to be.  They don’t have to be honest…at least by Internet standards, and they can often be very mean.  Others never ever seem to have even one good and happy day.  They thrive in their misery and sadly that misery has become who they are.

When I became part of this new Internet world I set and intention to be a positive seed planter, an encourager, and to remain present and available to people who may need someone to talk with.  I am an open book on the Internet.  My life has no secrets, and some of the chapters are quite sad but, they are nothing compared to the potential for me to touch at least one life and add some happiness or cause someone to look at things differently.  It is always my prayer that each day, when I spend my allotted amount of time (yes I set a specific amount of time) on the Internet, that I will meet someone who just needs someone to listen, or to help someone smile.  Everyday I receive many smile moments to add to my “smile bank” from people I may never meet, who know more about who I am than my own biological family.

Thank you Internet family for allowing me into your lives.  🙂

Sarah-Pink Welch ©2012

Facebook:  Sarah-Pink’s Promise

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Lesson #34 Addicted To Your Story March 27th 2012


My friend, who knows me as well as I know myself suggested I “get honest” and by writing this I am being truly honest.  You may not like it, you may be afraid, you may have an “AHA” moment.  Whatever happens, this is my truth to you.

I have been a Life Coach for more than 2 decades.  I have worked with many types of people….I am an equal opportunity Life Coach.  This is what I know for certain.  All people have a “story”.  Everyone!  The bad thing about that is you become ADDICTED to your story.  It is like everything else….if you keep repeating that story over and over again you become that which you are telling.  I am a recovering addict/alcoholic, and I have told my story so many times I lost count.  I do know that I had to stop telling it and for 99% of the time I have stopped.  The addict me, the alcoholic me, the adult child of an alcoholic me, the sexually abused me, the physically abused me is dead, the cancer patient me is dead, the full blown AIDS me is dead.  She is dead, she is gone, she is buried.

I was addicted to the groups I attended every single day became a new addiction for me.  Thinking of NOT going to a meeting caused me major anxiety attacks.  God intervened and I do not attend meetings everyday.  What I was doing was switching addictions.  Everyone I have ever met has an addiction.  Food, being perfect, sex, sitting at their computers doing anything but work, spending, accumulating stuff, eating, not eating, exercise, alcohol, over working, drugs, anger…the list of addictions is endless.

At the core of our being is some kind of PAIN…….which stands for Pay Attention Inward Now.  When we have become sick and tired enough or being sick and tired, we can reach inside and Feel that pain, Deal with that pain, and then Heal that pain.  I make it sound so easy and I know it is not.  But….you can stop to dragging it around like a security blanket.  Our pain can be from being abused, lied to, being told lies about ourselves, feeling alone and unloved,  feeling unworthy and less than.  All LIES!!!!!!  But, we keep sharing our story with anyone who will listen or read it….because that is all the identity we have.

I want you to know that you are able and allowed to heal.  I want you to know that you are worthy.  I want you to know that are loved.  I want you to know that you are not alone.  I want you to know that God does not make junk and the Big Bang Theory just doesn’t hold up.  I want you to know that as long as you keep hanging onto your story that is exactly what you will have in your present life.  Chaos, drama, fear, uncertainty, illness…they have become your companions.  Without them, you panic and have no clue who or what you are.

You are stuck in the muck of it all.  So, you decide.  Who are you now, minus your entire story?  What is your vision?  What do you really want your life to look like?

God will and can help you.  Stop living your old story….it is really not who you can be.  It is ugly, infectious, and it is not the present.  Holding onto it also acts like a dust catcher, so all the yuck in the world will keep sticking to your life, your very being.  Is that what you really want?  Yes, it is scary to think about all of this.  Without your story….who are you?  Without your story….who will you have to validate you?

I am asking you, encouraging you to take a leap of faith and Pay Attention Inward Now, then Feel it, Deal with it, and Heal it.  Lose the story.  Create your vision.  Learn to love living in peace.  It’s okay.  Just because happiness and peace may be something that you have never known consistently or had mere glimpses of, you have nothing to lose.  Your story will always be there if you have to live in the muck of it all.

I am here if you need me to help you co-author your New Life Story.  I am here to walk that journey with you.  You deserve better and when you know better, you do better.

Now you know the truth.  Are you willing to let go?

Sarah© 2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

***The Lemonade Stand®***


The Lemonade Stand® is a very special, and real place.  It is made up of a very diverse group of amazing people.  You will find The Lemonade Stand® on Facebook right now.  Soon, it will stand in it’s own light.  If you would like to join us, just send a friend request to Sarah-Pink Welch and leave a message with The Lemonade Stand on it.

The group was created to allow folks to come together with a single focus…..Whole Life Wellness.  That’s Mind, body, spirit, their homes, finances, relationships, their jobs and on and on.  If one part of your life lacks balance, everything else will sooner than later suffer for it.  When you ignore your own physical being how will you ever be able to show up for work and be productive?  If you have drama and chaos in your life, how will you raise happy, well adjusted children?  You won’t.

My colleague and Jersey sistah, came up with the idea to form a group on Facebook.  Diane Robertelli……you are one amazing and extraordinary woman!!!!  We are both Certified Life Coaches.  We have extensive backgrounds in fields that led us into the field of helping other people to live their best lives.  It’s our passion.  It’s our honor.  It’s our joy to walk the journey with the people we work with.  We love to see the healing take place, we love to see people make intentions and actually see them come to fruition.

So, if life has been handing you lemons, come join us at The Lemonade Stand®.  Pull up a chair and we’ll get to know you as we sip away on tall glasses of sweet, pink lemonade.

Sarah© 2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

Lesson #26 Addiction……..the parent


I don’t think I can do this anymore.  I feel so alone.  I don’t know where my child is or if they are even still alive.  I have called the hospitals, the police, the morgue…they aren’t there yet thank God.  But, if God is so good why won’t He bring my child home??  Ohhh I think I am loosing my mind.  If I go to one more meeting and have to hear someone say, I will be praying for you or I know how you feel, or God is in charge, I may just punch someone.  How could anyone possibly know how I feel?????

We’re getting a divorce you know.  My partner can’t handle the chaos….I guess they think I can.  I miss too much work these days, I have to take the other kids to school and who can afford a sitter?  I don’t know what I will do.  I will have to move for sure….but if I move and my child tries to come home, the house will be empty.  Oh please….someone help me!  Tell me what to do!

Retirement was supposed to be different than this.  We had plans to travel and see the world.  Now we have used almost all of our savings and we are watching the grandchildren….well they live here now.  We are their guardians according to the judge.  We don’t have any insurance for them and I worry so much.  The lawyers always want their money right now but where was the justice system when I was begging them for help when my now 44 year child was 12????  We really don’t talk about our child much.  The grandbabies ask questions but I just tell them that mommy/daddy is sick.  Well it’s true I guess and not really a lie.  We don’t go to those meetings the social worker told us about.  What on earth would they know about any of this mess?

When I think of the peace we felt when our child has been in jail it was sure better than this not knowing where they are or if they are.  When the phone rings it scares us.  We never let the grand babies answer, just in case it’s the police or…the morgue.  We don’t see our old friends anymore.  We are busy being parents again and maybe, just maybe we will get it right this time.  We know it’s our fault our child is like they are.  We must have done things wrong.  This time though, with the grand-babies….we will raise them right.

Sarah© 2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

Lesson #25 Addiction………..the addict–the drug


Okay look, all I need is $20 and I promise I’ll pay you back Friday.  Really, I will.       Mom/dad/whomever….I promise to stop.  I don’t need rehab, I can do it myself.    I am so tired of you preachin’ at me.   I know what I’m doing.  Nobody gets addicted to pot…it’s legal in some states.  I’m 12 I know what I’m doing.   Mom/dad/whomever, they have me in jail on some bogus charge.  I swear I didn’t do it, just please bail me out.  Damn it, I’m 42, I know what I can do….it’s a free country.

I will make you steal.  I will help you lie so easily it’s like taking candy from a baby.  I will take away every friend you ever thought you had.  I will control every single ugly minute of your life.  You will be so sick without me you will sell yourself to get me.  I own your body, your mind, your soul….you chase me like the dragon that I am…remember the first time?…maybe, just maybe you will feel like that one more time…chase me, follow me….use me again…I will let you sleep on the grass in the rain, I will let you crave me in a rat infested, vacant shell of a house.  You’re my shell now.  See, just like you thought.  You are nobody.  You don’t matter.  Oh yeah, sure you call them and they say they love you….it’s a lie…I am your truth.  What can ever be better than me?  You can count on me every time you shove me up your veins or nose or whatever space you find.  I love you see.  I make all the bad go away.  I make you numb.  I am the only answer that makes sense……..aren’t I??

Dad/mom/whomever…the police called while you were at the store and they say that xxxxxxx is in the hospital.  You have to hurry cuz’ they said they were really sick.  Please hurry mom/dad/whomever I don’t want them to die.

They say they love me, but I don’t know what that feels like anymore.  I can’t eat or sleep and they want to send me someplace where I won’t use.  They have to be crazy.    chase me    I really am kind of tired of this.  I’m sick and dirty and the rain is such a drag.    follow me    I don’t even remember what it’s like to be straight…how crazy is that??  I do miss the family but I have to stop this first before they will let me come back.    i own you

Sarah© 2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

Lesson #8 Normal……..really?….just sayin’!


I have spent time thinking about the word or the concept of “NORMAL”.

I have finally come to my own conclusion about “normal”.  I researched it, read about it, and have realized that I don’t fit the description in any way, shape or form.  I’m not sad about it.  I am happy that I made my own definition for it and I am totally content with it.

Normal is definitely not what I am.  No, I don’t eat worms, or wear hats made of tinfoil, but I am not normal.  The people closest to me really aren’t normal either.  That is where I found my definition…right there in my inner circle.  And it’s going to be the very same place where you will find what normal is for you.

My Definition:  Normal is whatever the majority of people in your life decide it is!!  It’s that easy or that difficult.  I have pink hair, tattoos, piercings, and like baggy clothes.  Now, some of my people have some of those things and we like each other a lot.  Some have none of those things and we remain good friends.

When I step away from my people,  I stand out like a 60 foot statue of Pooh Bear.  People stare, they whisper, they even point at me as if to say, would you look at that!!  How dare she look like that and in public too.  I dare because I can.  If I didn’t believe how I believe, if I didn’t dress as I do, If I didn’t surround myself with like minded people, I would not be me.  I would be someone else.

So, normal is whatever you decide it is.  As long as you are being true to yourself, not hurting or offending anyone, then you are on your own journey of normal.  Enjoy and smile!!!

Sarah-Pink Welch © 2011

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