Lesson #34 Addicted To Your Story March 27th 2012

My friend, who knows me as well as I know myself suggested I “get honest” and by writing this I am being truly honest.  You may not like it, you may be afraid, you may have an “AHA” moment.  Whatever happens, this is my truth to you.

I have been a Life Coach for more than 2 decades.  I have worked with many types of people….I am an equal opportunity Life Coach.  This is what I know for certain.  All people have a “story”.  Everyone!  The bad thing about that is you become ADDICTED to your story.  It is like everything else….if you keep repeating that story over and over again you become that which you are telling.  I am a recovering addict/alcoholic, and I have told my story so many times I lost count.  I do know that I had to stop telling it and for 99% of the time I have stopped.  The addict me, the alcoholic me, the adult child of an alcoholic me, the sexually abused me, the physically abused me is dead, the cancer patient me is dead, the full blown AIDS me is dead.  She is dead, she is gone, she is buried.

I was addicted to the groups I attended every single day became a new addiction for me.  Thinking of NOT going to a meeting caused me major anxiety attacks.  God intervened and I do not attend meetings everyday.  What I was doing was switching addictions.  Everyone I have ever met has an addiction.  Food, being perfect, sex, sitting at their computers doing anything but work, spending, accumulating stuff, eating, not eating, exercise, alcohol, over working, drugs, anger…the list of addictions is endless.

At the core of our being is some kind of PAIN…….which stands for Pay Attention Inward Now.  When we have become sick and tired enough or being sick and tired, we can reach inside and Feel that pain, Deal with that pain, and then Heal that pain.  I make it sound so easy and I know it is not.  But….you can stop to dragging it around like a security blanket.  Our pain can be from being abused, lied to, being told lies about ourselves, feeling alone and unloved,  feeling unworthy and less than.  All LIES!!!!!!  But, we keep sharing our story with anyone who will listen or read it….because that is all the identity we have.

I want you to know that you are able and allowed to heal.  I want you to know that you are worthy.  I want you to know that are loved.  I want you to know that you are not alone.  I want you to know that God does not make junk and the Big Bang Theory just doesn’t hold up.  I want you to know that as long as you keep hanging onto your story that is exactly what you will have in your present life.  Chaos, drama, fear, uncertainty, illness…they have become your companions.  Without them, you panic and have no clue who or what you are.

You are stuck in the muck of it all.  So, you decide.  Who are you now, minus your entire story?  What is your vision?  What do you really want your life to look like?

God will and can help you.  Stop living your old story….it is really not who you can be.  It is ugly, infectious, and it is not the present.  Holding onto it also acts like a dust catcher, so all the yuck in the world will keep sticking to your life, your very being.  Is that what you really want?  Yes, it is scary to think about all of this.  Without your story….who are you?  Without your story….who will you have to validate you?

I am asking you, encouraging you to take a leap of faith and Pay Attention Inward Now, then Feel it, Deal with it, and Heal it.  Lose the story.  Create your vision.  Learn to love living in peace.  It’s okay.  Just because happiness and peace may be something that you have never known consistently or had mere glimpses of, you have nothing to lose.  Your story will always be there if you have to live in the muck of it all.

I am here if you need me to help you co-author your New Life Story.  I am here to walk that journey with you.  You deserve better and when you know better, you do better.

Now you know the truth.  Are you willing to let go?

Sarah© 2012


3 thoughts on “Lesson #34 Addicted To Your Story March 27th 2012

  1. I know you have been, and still are, dealing with much pain, sorrow and reality….as am I….but I must say that it has made you into an amazing, heart reading, awesome and powerful person and voice……………….thank you once again for opening my eyes to make me see myself as I am…..God Bless doll

  2. I want to jump up and down!!! Oh how I love this. That there is such FREEDOM in letting go of the past hat longs to hold us captive. Feeling the pain and dealing with it, learning from it and MOVING forward is the best thing any of us can do!!!!

    Oh I could just hug you so tight right now!!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!

  3. Sarah,
    This is a wondrous opportunity to say thank you for the reminder re: The Tape of Our Stories.
    I have a story. In fact my story is more special than anyone else’s story. It must be or I would not roll it around so frequently, and savor the pain and the details and the terror and indignation and, and, and . . . . .

    One time, I was given the most difficult assignment ever – in one of the seminars that my spiritual mentor offered. It had this twist: “I want you to pair up and tell your life’s story ONLY IN TERMS OF WHAT YOU LEARNED AS A BENEFIT.”

    “Benefit? You have to be crazy – this story forever altered my life, frightened me, showed me betrayal, and is as close to me as my breath. BENEFIT? Ha! Not possible.

    I am fairly expressive, but for the first time in memory, I was speechless. As one who often is eager to lead off an exercise in a group of others who are less accustomed to speaking, I deferred to the other three in my group.

    “Linda,” a woman I knew a little, and did not just automatically warm up to, said, “I’ll begin.” She did, and her examples that rolled off her tongue showed me the way. It also explained to me more of why she is the person with some rough edges, I now could better appreciate.

    Again, I hesitated, but when the other had all taken their turn, I inhaled deeply and hesitant began. Without details, my story included how those who stole from me – taught me to be more aware of my possessions and business assets sooner. Those who did not come to my defense reminded me to not expect as much from them, as it obviously did not impact them as much as it did me. The legal system I had come to trust would protect me taught me that the system is only as good as the people who are in charge. The man who threatened to cut up my face reminded me that bullies and evil come in all forms and I might need to be aware of those who might harm me. The entire experience helped me to understand priorities – what to keep and what to let go of – and that sometimes knowing when to quit is the most important part of an experience.

    I can still pull out my story faster than you can blink – but today – I can also remember Part Deux – the question, “And, what did you learn?”

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