Tag Archive | child

Lesson #26 Addiction……..the parent


I don’t think I can do this anymore.  I feel so alone.  I don’t know where my child is or if they are even still alive.  I have called the hospitals, the police, the morgue…they aren’t there yet thank God.  But, if God is so good why won’t He bring my child home??  Ohhh I think I am loosing my mind.  If I go to one more meeting and have to hear someone say, I will be praying for you or I know how you feel, or God is in charge, I may just punch someone.  How could anyone possibly know how I feel?????

We’re getting a divorce you know.  My partner can’t handle the chaos….I guess they think I can.  I miss too much work these days, I have to take the other kids to school and who can afford a sitter?  I don’t know what I will do.  I will have to move for sure….but if I move and my child tries to come home, the house will be empty.  Oh please….someone help me!  Tell me what to do!

Retirement was supposed to be different than this.  We had plans to travel and see the world.  Now we have used almost all of our savings and we are watching the grandchildren….well they live here now.  We are their guardians according to the judge.  We don’t have any insurance for them and I worry so much.  The lawyers always want their money right now but where was the justice system when I was begging them for help when my now 44 year child was 12????  We really don’t talk about our child much.  The grandbabies ask questions but I just tell them that mommy/daddy is sick.  Well it’s true I guess and not really a lie.  We don’t go to those meetings the social worker told us about.  What on earth would they know about any of this mess?

When I think of the peace we felt when our child has been in jail it was sure better than this not knowing where they are or if they are.  When the phone rings it scares us.  We never let the grand babies answer, just in case it’s the police or…the morgue.  We don’t see our old friends anymore.  We are busy being parents again and maybe, just maybe we will get it right this time.  We know it’s our fault our child is like they are.  We must have done things wrong.  This time though, with the grand-babies….we will raise them right.

Sarah© 2012

hopeslifecoaching.com

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Lesson #8 Normal……..really?….just sayin’!


I have spent time thinking about the word or the concept of “NORMAL”.

I have finally come to my own conclusion about “normal”.  I researched it, read about it, and have realized that I don’t fit the description in any way, shape or form.  I’m not sad about it.  I am happy that I made my own definition for it and I am totally content with it.

Normal is definitely not what I am.  No, I don’t eat worms, or wear hats made of tinfoil, but I am not normal.  The people closest to me really aren’t normal either.  That is where I found my definition…right there in my inner circle.  And it’s going to be the very same place where you will find what normal is for you.

My Definition:  Normal is whatever the majority of people in your life decide it is!!  It’s that easy or that difficult.  I have pink hair, tattoos, piercings, and like baggy clothes.  Now, some of my people have some of those things and we like each other a lot.  Some have none of those things and we remain good friends.

When I step away from my people,  I stand out like a 60 foot statue of Pooh Bear.  People stare, they whisper, they even point at me as if to say, would you look at that!!  How dare she look like that and in public too.  I dare because I can.  If I didn’t believe how I believe, if I didn’t dress as I do, If I didn’t surround myself with like minded people, I would not be me.  I would be someone else.

So, normal is whatever you decide it is.  As long as you are being true to yourself, not hurting or offending anyone, then you are on your own journey of normal.  Enjoy and smile!!!

Sarah-Pink Welch © 2011

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