I have been working with lots of folks on creating healthy boundaries for themselves because no one was ever created to be a doormat, an ATM nor do they have a revolving doors in their hearts. We are not actually born with healthy boundaries. Boundaries are both physical and emotional. Boundaries or the lack of them is learned. In a healthy growing up environment we either learn to set healthy personal boundaries in order to maintain a positive self-concept, or self-image. It is our way of communicating to others that we have self-respect, self-worth, and will not allow others to define us. If, when growing up we were not respected, or did not see the adults in our lives’ respecting each other or other people we will tend to have low self-esteem, and a negative self image. We will also lack the skill and knowledge to honor and respect the boundaries of other people.
Without healthy boundaries, we tend to have lives’ full of drama, chaos, and
it would not be impossible to enjoy healthy relationships without the existence of personal boundaries, or without our willingness to accurately communicate them directly and honestly with others. We must recognize that each of us is a unique individual with distinct emotions, needs and preferences. This is equally true for our spouses, children, friends and co-workers. When we decide to set personal boundaries means to preserve your integrity and take responsibility for who you are, and to take control of your life and what you allow to happen in it. It is NEVER to late to start the boundary building process. It will shock some people when you begin to say NO to them or I WOULD RATHER NOT, but we teach people how to treat us and now is the perfect time to begin.
I love you all and I am sending you you pink, umbrella huggz…because I think it’s going to rain.
Sarah-Pink Welch ©2013