I normally don’t have any clients on Sunday but this past Sunday was different with some emergencies. So since Sunday morning I have had 27 clients. I noticed a couple of themes emerging…one of them was anger. I have several angry clients and in my humble opinion they have a good reason to be….the problem has become that their anger began way back when they were young and they just never let go of it and it gets directed at all the wrong people for all the wrong reasons. There is danger in being angry all the time. It raises your blood pressure, it raises your cholesterol, it causes headaches and body aches, it can lead to over eating all the way to using drugs and alcohol to ease things. Not wonderful. The other thing is that those closest to you feel your anger….especially children and they will pick up your anger as their own. It’s got to be the nastiest feeling in the world. You want to scream. You want to break things. Beat your head against the wall. Those coping skills never work for long…and you can’t undo them. I have found that the best ways of freeing yourself of anger does take effort and some back tracking. You need to sit with yourself and reach back in your memory and discover the thing or things that initially hurt you and caused you to be angry. You need to give your anger a voice. The first step to being free from anger is to let it tell its whole story, complete with expletives and the occasional chest-thumping roar that can go along with it. A therapist, life coach or laid-back friend can be a good sounding board. Because this is asking a lot, I often prefer writing about my anger. Speaking or writing, I start by describing the situation that upset me in whatever vague terms come to mind. Remember, I am a journal junkie. As the words emerge, my feelings become more focused, the reason for my anger more clear. It will not take you long to see where it came from and how it grew and got distorted as you grew. You will finally be able to let go of it all. Don’t forget to forgive the people who put you in that place of being defensive, forgive yourself for being angry, and ask those you have been angry with to forgive you. You were never angry at them for the reason you thought. Give the anger a voice and soon it will be a whisper and soon it will go away. When you catch yourself getting angry ask yourself what are you really afraid of. Anger is fear based so find that fear and let it go. Live in freedom. Be slow to anger and super fast to forgive.
I love you all to the sun and back, I am here for you, and I am sending you pink, anger free huggz.
Sarah-Pink Welch ©2013