Let me start by saying that there are only 2 emotions—-LOVE and FEAR! So, if you took a piece of paper and wrote LOVE on one side and FEAR on the other, you will quickly see that anger for instance is FEAR based. Loneliness is FEAR based. Happiness is LOVE based. Hope is LOVE based.
Now loss is loss and it falls under fear. We human beans are hardwired to become fearful when we experience the loss of someone of something we love. It is NEVER easy to lose what we love. The wonderful thing is that we have the ability to grieve the loss…now we don’t want to linger too long in the grief or we will get stuck there. But, once some time has passed, we can celebrate the happiness and moments of joy we had with that person or thing we have lost. I have a journal that I use only for people who have gone on to Heaven. It is filled with ever wonderful thing I remember them saying or doing. If I become sad…which is FEAR based, I grab that journal and read until I laugh. Enduring a loss can be difficult….is difficult, but time is an enormous healer. I have a son that I do not see or speak with. It was actually killing me. I had to LOVE him and myself enough to let him go.
Worry is another FEAR based thing. And sadly, it is not a positive thing. In medicine, we have found that worry causes depression, weight gain, insomnia, headaches, increased blood pressure, increased cholesterol, and it even messes with our blood sugar. Worry serves no purpose. When we worry we are hurting ourselves, taking up valuable time (life is very short), ignoring family and friends or our jobs. Worry has led to many a stroke and heart attack. It is okay to be concerned, but when more than 1 hour of your day is consumed with obsessive worrying you will be in trouble. Try to do something healthy and positive instead. If you find yourself beginning to worry, call a friend and talk only about happy things, take a walk, get a coloring book and some cool crayons and color. Just get out of your head. Worry has never fixed anything. Worrying over and over again becomes a habit even an addiction. Some folks do not know how to live without worry, chaos, and drama. Peacefulness makes them nervous. So take some time and flip that worry into a stepping stone toward peace and hope.
Now FEAR is an actual emotion. It has the ability to paralyze us. It has the power to take our spirits away and crush them. Being afraid of spiders or storms is usually normal unless you go into an anxiety attack. If that is the case I encourage you to talk to a Life Coach or see a professional. If you find yourself saying things like….”if I was only a better_______this would not have happened”, “if I had known sooner I could have saved so and so”, “I called everywhere looking for him or her”, “What if I lose my job”, “how will I ever pay for this”. STOP!! STOP!! STOP!! That is all faulty thinking. You will “coulda, woulda, shoulda, if only, what iffed yourself to an early grave. No one can make anyone anything, no one can change anyone, no one can control anything but ourselves and the way we react or become proactive toward things. So let go of the fear. Let it go please. It is not helping…it is hurting you.
Loss, worry and fear can become a vicious cycle. Over and over and over you will go. I encourage you to make it an intention that you are NOT FEARFUL!!!!! Write it down on colored index cards…I am not afraid, I am okay, God is in control, I am strong, I am capable…go crazy with the positive affirmations. It takes 21 days to form a habit…..put those cards everywhere and you WILL STOP being fearful.
You matter. You are beautiful. You are capable. You are not responsible for anyone’s actions but your own.